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Monday, March 4, 2019

I Love Farts! (A Fartbreath Mystere Commentary)

Howdy. Time for another rare post by me, Eddie Mystere, AKA Fartbreath Mystere. As you likely know, I am known as "Fartbreath" because I really enjoy eating farts. Also huffing them. Seriously, I love farts; both the smell and the taste.

Anyway, the reason for this post today is to address the ongoing feud between myself and the primary author of this blog, Anthony Sanders. Although he goes by "Dervish" for some reason. As opposed to using the name he was given at birth, which is "Anthony".

It seems that Anthony (aka "Dervish") is quite upset with me for revealing his true identity and address. Also calling him by MY nickname, "Fartbreath". For the record, I am known by "Fartbreath" because of my love of farts. Mr. Sanders, as far as I know, is not a fellow eproctophile. I did ask him if he wanted to join my phart sniffing club, but he told me "no way". He told me he thinks farts are disgusting and not an odor to be enjoyed. As I enjoy the odor.

Personally I do not understand why more people don't love farts as much as I do. Gas expelled from the ass smells fantastic as far as I am concerned. My sense of smell must be superior to that of the ordinary human. But I accept that most people (oddly) do not love farts as much as I do.

Anyway, back to the feud between Dervish and myself... he says I am going to regret messing with him, but the truth is he is going to regret messing with ME. I WILL make him pay. By writing posts on my blog about him farting. Also, how much I would like to smell those farts. That will show him.

And I will continue exposing him. Soon I will be reopening my blogs and posting additional secrets that Anthony would rather people not know. Secrets that will embarrass Anthony so much that he will almost certainly threaten to sue in order to get me to stop. But I laugh at these threats of lawsuits! Try it Anthony, and you'll end up disbarred for sure. Because I will file a countersuit.

You can't get away with trying to stifle my First Amendment rights, Anthony! The world has the right to know about your sexual perversions, Anthony! Much as you surely want to keep them hidden. Because Anthony's secrets being revealed will most assuredly get him disbarred and result in him losing his job as a Judge.

btw, you may be asking yourself WHY THE HELL would Anthony allow me to post my "lies" on his blog? The answer is that (as Anthony told me) he's allowing me to "expose myself as an idiot". Sure, Anthony. Keep believing that. As long as you keep allowing me to post on your blog, I don't care what you think.

Also, you're wrong. The truth is that I have exposed myself as being incredibly smart. A "stable genius" like our magnificent president. Evidence of my smartness? I followed the digital breadcrumbs and discovered your true identity, Anthony Sanders. Something that got YOU spooked, Anthony!

Image: Anthony Sanders and his peepaw Ralph Sanders.

Post authored by Fartbreath Mystere's Eproctophilia Club, a White Nationalist/Trump-supporting phart sniffer. WYM-99.

5 comments:

  1. Huffing farts with Franco again eh mystere. Two huffing liars and deluded fools.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you noticed how MUCH Mystere has been fantasizing about me farting? Check out my sidebar links to Mystere blogs and you will see a "Funny Misadventures Of A Troll" post titled "Dervish Farted" in addition to a "Porky's Big Payback" post titled "Did Dervish Fart Again?"

    Mystere wishes that I farted and that he was in the room. Preferably on his knees with his face right next to my buttocks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I suggest you do exactly that -FJ.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete