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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

A Description Of Donald Trump's Penis For Mystere To Slobber Over

Note that I have no problem whatsoever with the fact that Mystere is gay. My problem is that he is a hypocrite about it. As a trump Conservative who views himself as "Christian", Mystere is convinced that God hates the same people he hates (Muslims, gay and trans people, illegal aliens, Black Democrats, Democratic women, Liberals, never-trump republicans, anyone who is pro-choice, anyone paying attention who realizes how awful DJT is, etc... I'm sure the list goes on and on).

Mystere: Derwood claims he's a Christian, but supports everything vile in God's eyes. The snake worshipper Dervish Sanders backs Muslims and other anti Christian groups, calling those who call him out racists, hate mongers and homophobes. Dervish's Metropolitian Church buttboys troll alongside with him at Rational Nation USA, The Swoosh Zone and Shaw Kenawe's blog known as Boston Piggy's. (6/24/2017 at 10:14pm. Excerpted from a "Funny Misadventures of a Troll" blog post).

Mystere absolutely is a homophobe. Also (as is often the case with hate mongering republicans) a closeted gay man. A hypocrite who takes out the hate he feels for himself on other gay people. Although these would be gay people who are not ashamed to be as God made them.

Anyway, it looks like Stormy Daniels is coming out with a book. A memoir that includes a recounting of her sexual encounter with the gross Orange Turd. Mystere, a devoted brainwashed member of the Orange Turd Cult, kneels down and worships at the feet of his Orange Turd leader. No doubt while admiring the ugly Orange Turd for (in Mystere's mind) his chiseled good looks and manly physique *shudder* (an "alpha male" according to Minus FJ).

Given this likely reality, I thought I'd be a mensch and post an excerpt from a Yahoo news article I recently stumbled across. What follows is a description of the Orange Turd's member from Stormy Daniels' book. A description that could quite likely have a lust-filled Mystere slobbering and drooling in short order.

Daniels, in her book, describes Trump's penis as "unusual" and with a "huge mushroom head, like a toadstool". She also says it was "smaller than average" but "not freakishly small", according to The Guardian.

She also reportedly describes sex with Trump: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion" (Link).

The only part of this story that will probably disappoint Mystere is that it describes Trump having sex... with a woman. Something Mystere might be grossed out by. Although most of this excerpt has to do with the description of the Orange Turd's member. Which could get the pervert Mystere pretty excited. And possibly engorged.

Unless he dismisses it as "fake news". Because surely Trump's penis is impressive and not deformed and small as Daniels describes it. Perhaps, if Mystere reads this post, he'll let us know which it is. On the other hand, everyone can see Trump's unusual orange skin (what is not covered up by clothing). Obviously Trump believes orange skin is a good look. So a deformed toadstool penis might be desirable (to Mystere) as well.

My strong suspicion is that is. By which I mean Mystere will beat his meat (and produce some white gravy) while reading the description of Trump's junk. And lustfully long to see it for himself. In order to confirm that it is as awesome as Stormy says. I suspect Mystere will lie, however. And say that he has no interest at all in Donald Trump's penis.

Being straight, I have no clue; I have heard, however, that people are happier when they acknowledge the truth about themselves. Time to come out of the closet, Mystere. You will be much happier if you do (I suspect). He might decide to kill himself, however. If he is incapable of accepting the fact that he is attracted to men. In which case it might be better for him to stay in the closet.

Image: An orange toadstool that might closely resemble Donald Trump's penis. Although clearly much larger.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-76.

8 comments:

  1. BTW, am I a "snake worshipper" or a member of a Metropolitan Church? Also, what does Mystere mean by "snake worshipper"? I assume he refers to Islam, since Mystere (when he speaks of snake worshipping) frequently does so in the context of my mosque and my Imam (although I have neither). You'd think I'd know, being a Muslim (Mystere believes), but I don't know what he's talking about. Although (also as per Mystere) I practice Taqiya, so I am lying when I say that (not a confession but what Mystere believes apparently).

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  2. Poor Dervy boy! Your fantasy of me being queer is laughable! Your pipe dream will never come true. I just scrolled through your infantile temper tantrum, not bothering to read it. You're just upset because you failed to get Cleveland Foxers shut down with your lies. Your false accusation of violating their TOS blew up in your face. So now you're slobbering over Donald Trump's penis? YOU WISH I WERE A QUEERTARD! In your crack pipe dreams Dervish!

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    1. I don't know what Automattic is going to do about "Cleveland Foxers". I haven't heard back from them yet. Last time I reported you I remember that it took awhile (and I was wondering if they were going to get back to me). They DID get back to me and they suspended 4 of your 5 WordPress blogs. Your blogs have NOT been reinstated. So you think I've "lost"... how? My TRUTHFUL accusation "blew up in my face"... how??

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    2. Awwwwwwwwwwwe! Poor Dervish! Did Wordpress spank you after you faked getting hijacked? Mystere's post on Liberal Troll Watch of that stupid retort you sent to his blog Cleveland Foxers made me laugh at you. "BWAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!" (As you put it).

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    3. Yes. WordPress "spanked" me... in your imagination. Although I am sure (to you) this "spanking" was real. The "BWAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!" "as I put it" is another of your delusions. I have never put it that way. EVER. You need help. You clearly have trouble distinguishing reality from your fantasies.

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  3. What's up Dervish? Did you bite down so hard and break your dentures? Or did your dog get excited when giving you another "love nibble" (as YOU call it) and bite your nads? Oh wait, you were "horsing around" with that stallion in your previous vile blog post, and you choked while doing a deep throat act with it. You need mental help Dervish.

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  4. Oh my! I just got a phone call, Dervish. You really cooked up a huge whopper! You must have felt a YUUUUUUUUUUGE tingle up your loins when you dreamed you saw Donald Trump naked. And about that retort you sent to Cleveland Foxers: LAME! Mystere showed me the comment notification he got from Wordpress.

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    1. Looks like Mystere is commenting using all his sockpuppets. To make it look like his butthois have his back, I assume. But I know it is JUST you, Mystere. BTW, YOU are the one who fantasizes about seeing DJT naked. I think the ugly Orange Turd is GROSS enough with his clothing on.

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