Myst3re's Life Story. The Condensed Version

A 7 year old Mystere was playing with building blocks in the living room. "That's good, son", Mystere's father said, beaming. "My son is going to be an architect" Mister Mystere decided. "Mother, beer me" Mystere's father yelled. Then he turned on the TV. "Game's on" Mystere Sr remarked throwing his weight into the barcalounger. Mystere's mother emerged from the kitchen. "Here is your cold beer, darling". "Thank you very much, my love" Mystere Sr said, slapping his wife on her rear.

"Oh, my" Mrs Mystere squealed. "Now I've got to get back to the kitchen. We're having pot roast tonight". Mister Mystere took a swig of his beer. Then he turned to look at his son. To his horror little Mystere was playing with a Barbie doll. "What the f*ck are you doing with your sister's doll, boy" Mister Mystere demanded. "It's my Barbie" little Mystere explained, a big smile on his face. "No, son" Mister Mystere yelled. Jumping up from his chair Mystere Sr snatched the doll from his son's hands.

"Boys do not play with dolls" Mystere's father angrily reprimanded his progeny. "Not unless they're fags. And no son of my is going to be a f@g". Little Mystere started crying. "I want my Barbie" Mystere blubbered. Tears ran down his cheeks. Mister Mystere's face grew red. His hands started trembling with rage. He clenched his teeth in anger. Then he unbuckled and removed his belt. "Come here, Mystere" the father commanded. Mystere, thinking he was going to get his doll back, approached his father with his hands out. "Barbie!" Mystere said, asking for the doll.

"NO, bad Mystere!". Mystere Sr swept up his son and put him over his knee. Quickly pulling down his britches, Mister Mystere gave his son several whacks with his belt. Mystere's ass turned a bright red. Little Mystere started balling. "Wahhh, wahhh" Mystere cried. Mister Mystere put his son down. Then he snapped the Barbie in half. Little Mystere pulled up his pants, ran to his room and buried his face in his pillow. Mister Mystere followed his son to his room. "I demand you stop your blubbering!". Little Mystere continued crying.

Then Mystere Sr sexually molested his son. "I am so embarrassed. I shouldn't be doing this" Mister Mystere told himself. Yet he couldn't stop. "This is your fault" Mystere's father said when he finished. "You will never tell your mother about this!". Mister Mystere hitched up his slacks and left his son's room. Little Mystere sobbed as he thought about how much his throat hurt and his butthole throbbed.

"Mom, I think I'm attracted to boys, not girls" a teenage Mystere remarked one day while helping his mother in the kitchen. His mother dropped the plate she was carrying. It hit the floor and smashed into a million pieces. His mother let out a shriek. "Oh, my G0d!" Mrs Mystere cried. Then she fell to her knees and started sobbing. "My son is going to Hell" Mrs Mystere cried, her voice quivering. What have I done, Mystere asked himself. "I'm sorry mom, it was a joke". "Homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord" Mystere's mother said, scolding her son. Then she slapped him across the face.

"I'm sorry, mom" Mystere assured his mother. Tears welled up in his eyes. That slap really hurt! He helped his mother to her feet. "I'm straight, I swear" Mystere lied. Mystere and his mother sat at the kitchen table and read the Bible. "I am so worried that you will burn in Hell" Mystere's mother told her son. What she didn't know was that Mystere had lain with a man as a man lies with a woman. It happened earlier that year, shortly after he turned 16.

"This is so wrong, Chad" Mystere told the boy lying on the bed next to him. Both Mystere and Chad were naked, having just made love. Chad turned to face Mystere. He kissed Mystere full on the lips, inserting a little tongue. "Is your dad still sexually molesting you?" Chad asked. "Of course not. It was just the one time when I was 7" Mystere replied. "And then a few dozen times after than. Off and on for a few years until I was 14. Then it seems he lost interest". Mystere's voice trailed off. It almost seemed to Chad that Mystere was disappointed that the molestation ended.

Mystere rose from the bed and quickly dressed. First he put on his bra and panti3s, followed by a shirt and his jeans. "That your sister's underwear?" Chad asked. He knew it was. Mystere stole them from her dresser drawer. Wearing women's underwear made him feel sexy and confident. "I can't see you again, Chad" Mystere said as he finished dressing. "Let me guess why" Chad replied. "Is it because you aren't a f@g?". "That's right" Mystere replied. "I'm not g@y, I'm a sinner".

"Please forgive me, God" Mystere whispered to himself. Then he left. Although he and Chad hooked up many times after that. Two years years later Chad dumped him when he went away to college. Mystere was heartbroken. Also angry. If he wasn't gay why did it feel like he couldn't go on without Chad in his life? He was such a gentle and attentive lover.

Now what was Mystere going to do? He found himself wandering down to the bus station many nights. There he discovered he could pay homeless men for oЯal sex. The dirty hobo accepted the 10 dollar bill and reached for Mystere's pants zipper. Mystere slapped his hand away. "I want you to drop your drawers" Mystere sheepishly explained. "Whatever" the bum replied. Then the bum unzipped his jeans and let them fall, along with his underwear.

Mystere became well known at the bus station. The one near his home and others for miles around. Mystere got a job at a local radio station running errands for the staff. In the evenings he rode for hours, stopping at various bus stations where he paid dozens of men for sex. "What am I doing?" Mystere asked himself. He was so ashamed. Luckily he did not contract AIDS. Something he discovered after getting tested at a local clinic. It turned out he had a common STD that was curable after taking meds for a few weeks.

After that Mystere buckled down and put his nose to the grindstone. He cut together commercials at the radio station where he worked. His boss seemed satisfied with his work. Or so Mystere thought. Until the boss man called him into his office one afternoon. "Your work really stinks, Mystere" the boss said. "I have heard, however, that you are really good at giving BJs". Mystere obliged his boss and kept his job. Although the boss brought in an assistant who did most of the work.

That's how Mystere became his boss's boy toy. Bob (his boss) was 56 and Mystere was just 21. "I'm not g@y" Bob told Mystere every time. "Thats OK, I'm not g@y either" Mystere assured his boss. This went on for several years. Mystere stopped riding busses and blowing homeless men. His boss insisted. Bob was quite angry when he found out and gave Mystere a beating he never forgot. Mystere's boss was really happy with the work the assistant was doing so he decided to give Mystere a raise.

Mystere moved out of his parent's house and into an apartment. "When are you going to find a nice girl and get married?" his mother asked. Mystere's boss decided to give him a shot as the sports reporter. Being a big fan of the WWE Mystere jumped at the chance when the boss said an interview with the wrestler Rikishi would be his first assignment. Rikishi was putting on a performance at the Staples Center one night and Mystere arranged an exclusive interview in the locker room.

Mystere was nervous but he thought it went fairly well. The sound man packed up the equipment and indicated to Mystere that it was time to depart. "I'll take the bus home" Mystere told him. His co-worker shrugged his shoulders and drove off. Mystere wandered back into the locker room. Steam poured from the showers. Peeking inside, Mystere spotted a nude Rikishi lathering up. He was entranced. "You like what you see?" Rikishi asked as he continued stroking his enormous d0ng.

"I'm sorry" Mystere stammered. "It's OK" Rikishi replied. "Why don't you get undressed and join me?" the wrestler asked, to Mystere's amazement. Mystere quickly shed his clothing and joined Rikishi in the shower. They embraced and started kissing. Then Rikishi pushed down on the top of Mystere's head, forcing him to his knees. "Wow, you are really good at that" Rikishi remarked after Mystere finished.

"for a straight man, I suppose so" Mystere replied. "Yeah, I'm straight too" Rikishi insisted. "That's the first time I've ever done anything like that". After dating for a few months Rikishi paid Mystere's landlord so he could get out of his lease and they moved in together. Mystere kept his job for awhile, but his boss was not happy when Mystere told him he wanted to break off their relationship.

"There is no reason for me to keep you on if that is the case" Bob informed Mystere. But that quickly changed after Rikishi threatened to beat Bob senseless. Mystere was relieved. He had planned to tell Bob's wife about what was going on, but as it turned out, Bob was getting divorced. "That skank was sleeping around on me. And now my Mystere is dumping me!". Bob wept. A few years passed. Mystere continued to collect a paycheck, even after he decided he was going to stay home from now on.

Eventually Mystere found out he was being fired. One day Mystere was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and getting high smoking weed when the phone rang. "This is your new boss" a voice on the other end informed Mystere. "You're fired" the voice said. "What!" Mystere exclaimed, shocked. "Bob blew his brains out last week. I was going over the payroll and found your name. Everyone here says you haven't shown up to work in months".

And so Mystere became a househusband. After Rikishi proposed and he accepted. "It's just a legal agreement between two bros" Rikishi insisted as he slipped the ring on Mystere's finger. "This certainly doesn't make us f@gs". "OK", Mystere agreed. If it meant he could get high and watch TV all day he was for it. Plus the sex was fantastic! Given that Rikishi was hung like a horse.


Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wym080. TF-7.

Mystere (An Extremely Low IQ Imbecile) Writes Another Fake Comment & Blames It On Me

I can't say for sure that Mystere wrote this comment, but, given how stupid it is, I think it's a good guess he authored it. Why? I know he wants revenge for 4 of his 5 WordPress blogs getting shut down. Maybe he thinks writing fake comments and saying I sent them to his "Cleveland Foxers" blog will get me trouble... somehow?

Saturday, September 22, 2018. Dervish's Latest Faked Retort To Cleveland Foxers. From: Dervish This Irl Rat Pookie One Sanders Hudnutt Trapper. Fake email address: DFDFAD@DFAFAD.COM. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! LITTLE ***** KEEPS BLAMING OTHER FOR THE THINGS I DO!!! AND HE STILL HAS NO CLUE AS TO WHO I REALLY AMMMMM!!!! IT'S SUCH FUN TO GREASE THE SKIDS FOR YOUR TRIP TO hell, *****!!!! WATCHING YOU BURN IN hell WILL BE SUCH FUN!!! REPENT, *****, REPENT!!! THE SERPENT IS COMING FOR YOU TO COLLECT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE SOUL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dervish tries another one of his braindead Wile E Coyote moves in hopes of a Wordpress TOS violation that will cause Cleveland Foxers to get deleted. The 0 IQ mental midget keeps failing. Keep sinning, Dervish. That way, on the day you croak, you will face the sheer terror of your life when you have to answer to God Almighty for spewing your hate for everyone to see. In the meantime, keep eating coq. Apparently, you love having your mouth stuffed full of coq, Colonel Dervish Sanders! Posted by mystere's moonbat slayer club at 10:14 AM.

Why would a comment submitted by someone not using a Gravatar account cause a TOS violation? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. Given the fact that Mystere enabled this option. I'm guessing. I'm not familiar with what options are available for handling WordPress comments. I assume that if Mystere doesn't want people entering names and fake email addresses, he can stop it. If he chooses to.

So, if Mystere decides to accept comments from people not using a Gravatar account? Then I say he doesn't get to complain about people using that option. If you don't want such comments then don't allow them, Mystere! Given that you have decided you WANT such comments (you selected this option under the WordPress dashboard) such comments could not trigger a TOS violation. Or, I don't see how they possibly could.

Mystere says I'm using "braindead Wile E Coyote moves in hopes of a Wordpress TOS violation that will cause Cleveland Foxers to get deleted"... but he is the one who is braindead. This theory of his makes no sense. Given that he controls what kind of comments his blog will accept. How the HELL would a type of comment HE HAS DECIDED to accept trigger a TOS violation?

Anyway, I suspect this will continue. Mystere will continue posting idiotic comments (authored by him or possibly someone else) and blaming me. Mystere is greasing his own skids for his trip to Hell. I have nothing to do AT ALL with that. And I don't want to watch him burn in Hell. Wouldn't that imply I was there? Or are there TVs in heaven via which people who are there can tune in to watch and laugh at damned souls?

I did not write the comment so I wouldn't know. I don't want Mystere to burn in Hell. I want him to turn away from evil. Looking at his "Moonbat Spanker" blog, however, that seems unlikely. He writes posts discussing the false prophet Mark Taylor and his false prophecies concerning Donald Trump. Donald Trump was NOT chosen by God, Mystere. Donald Trump is evil.

And YOU are the one who spews hate. As I pointed out in a prior commentary. I have no worries whatsoever about answering to God for my hate because I'm not a hater. Pointing out the hate of others is not "spewing hate". Nobody has ever seen me "spew hate" because this isn't something I do. Perhaps you could say that I spew hate in regards to Donald Trump. But he deserves it.

If Mystere continues to follow Trump he may end up in Hell. But I'm not greasing any skids and will feel no joy AT ALL if this happens to Mystere. So Mystere can stop blaming these comments on me. Unless he wrote them. Obviously then he will continue to blame me.

Whether or not "Cleveland Foxers" is suspended or shut down is 100% up to Automattic (the company that owns WordPress). I reported you because you are harassing me. Specifically you said you were going to cause me to lose my Gravatar account. I would prefer to keep my Gravatar account. So I decided to proactively contact them. As opposed to waiting to see what might happen. Although they have yet to respond. I will have to contact them again. I'd rather you simply drop this bullshit regarding comments you don't like and your false accusations concerning me sending them. It's ridiculous.

Finally... Regarding me having an IQ of zero...

What does an IQ of 0 mean?: It is improbable for a human to have an IQ of less than 50 without some serious accompanying defects and abnormalities and improbable for a human to have an IQ of less than 20 without profound medical issues that would cause very low life expectancy. (Excerpted from a response to a question on Quora authored by Jesse Roberge).

Obviously neither I nor Mystere have an IQ of zero. I don't know what Mystere's IQ is. I do think it is easy to deduce (from his writings on Blogger) that Mystere's IQ is most certainly NOT high and very likely lower than average. Possibly a LOT lower.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-79.

WYD trumpers Predictably Attack Brett Kavanaugh Accuser, Christine Blasey Ford

"Let her say what she has to say. And let's see how it all comes out. But they've delayed it a week, and they have to get on with it" is what the predisent said in response to prompting from Sean Hannity. "You've been very accommodating" the ass-kissing toady said, agreeing with the Orange-skinned misogynist.

What Hannity and tRump were talking about was the accusations of attempted rape against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh. That this nominee be rushed though the process is what the Right is stressing. Also the fact that Dr. Ford can't remember specific details. That is the tact Lisa of the trumper blog Who's Your Daddy employs. By posting comments she attributes to "Ken Sisco", whoever that is (I did a Google search on "selective memory has it's advantages" and "Ken Sisco" and got nothing).

SELECTIVE MEMORY HAS ITS ADVANTAGES. If Dr. Ford could remember a specific date or year, Judge Kavanaugh might be able to show that he was nowhere near the incident described. When the fraudulent accusations were made in the Duke Lacrosse debacle, one of the three men accused, proved by a video that when the incident occurred, he was at an ATM machine a mile away. Same is true of location. (posted by Lisa to WYD on 9/20/2018 at 6:40am under the title "Same Story, Different Names").

First, to address the "selective memory" bit. The author is clearly implying he believes Dr. Ford is lying. However, that details of traumatic events like sexual assault can't remembered extraneous details is actually very common.

Jodi J. De Luca PhD, explains [that] "When a person is faced with a dangerous or threatening situation, their attention becomes narrowly focused on the danger at hand". ... So when survivors can't remember every aspect of the trauma later, that isn't the result of negligence or absent-mindedness—instead, certain aspects of the trauma simply weren't encoded into the survivor's memory because they were experiencing real and present danger. "This can help explain why a survivor may recall vividly certain details of the trauma while being unable to recall other details of the event"... (Trauma Survivors Often Forget Important Details of Their Assaults. Here's Why. 1/17/2018 Greatist article by Alexis Dent).

As for what happened in the Duke Lacrosse case, Dr. Ford's accusations are not comparable. Crystal Gail Mangum, the accuser in that case, lied. Her story fell apart and those she accused were cleared of any wrongdoing. Christine Blasey Ford is telling the truth. The different name that could be subbed into this story is Anita Hill. Professor Anita Hill's story has never been disproven.

Another corollary between Ford and Hill is the coordinated Right-wing character assassination. Anita Hill was painted as "a little bit slutty, a little bit nutty". In regards to Ford, The Republican senator from Utah, Orrin Hatch, says she is "mixed up". Also "if that were true [the accusations], I think it would be hard for Senators not to consider who he is today". Nice. She's making it up. Although, if she isn't, it doesn't matter.

Clearly the plan is to steamroll Dr. Ford if she shows up. They want to keep this a "he said, she said" so it's Kavanaugh's word versus Dr. Ford's word. She's lying or mixed up. It doesn't matter anyway because it was so long ago. Also, they don't want the FBI to investigate because it would be pointless.

Liberal Hunter: Okay, so let's have an FBI investigation to satisfy The Accuser... Where did this take place? I don't know. What day was this? I don't know. What month did this take place? I don't know. What year did this take place? I don't know. Okay genius, now tell me WTF are the FBI supposed to investigate? (9/20/2018 at 11:29am). Excerpted from a WYD comment.

Obviously this moron "Liberal Hunter" thinks the FBI would start the investigation, find that Dr. Ford couldn't remember certain details, then determine there was nothing for them to go on and therefore they couldn't proceed. Except they could find other people who had been there (by looking at student enrollment records) and question them. And likely find (via exhaustive legwork) at least a few other people who had been at the party and could remember those details.

Just because "Liberal Hunter" is too stupid to figure out how the FBI would proceed doesn't mean the FBI wouldn't be able to find other people to corroborate Dr. Ford's story. Or to not corroborate if (in the highly unlikely event) Kavanaugh is innocent and Dr. Ford is "mixed up" or lying.

They don't want the FBI to investigate for a reason. By "they" I mean the Orange Turd and all the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee. As well as the subservient ass-kissing state media (Fox, etc) and (taking their cues from these sources) the brainwashed zombie Orange Turd cultists. People like the trumpers who comment on WYD.

The reason they don't want an investigation is because "only 2-8% of rapes are falsely reported, the same percentage as for other felonies". Their intention is to push through Brett Kavanaugh and get him on the Supreme Court, facts be damned! Brett needs to get to work ASAP protecting the wealthy and corporations. As well as taking away rights from minorities and women. Because imposing the will of a minority is more important than one woman getting sexually assaulted (that minority being pseudo Christian evilvangelicals and Ayn Rand types who believe the US should be ruled by an aristocracy).

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg came out that she was groped by Abraham Lincoln" Rep Ralph Norman (SC 5th district) joked recently. It's funny because RBG is an ugly old hag who should hurry up and die. That women are a threat to legitimate male power (as per FrancoThinke) is a "fact" that even Right-wing women (such as Lisa) agree with. The problem is feminazis and absolutely not toxic masculinity.

If Hillary Clinton had won the election and been inaugurated (she won but was not inaugurated) and President HRC nominated a man for the Supreme Court who was accused of sexual assault? You KNOW Republican hypocrites would absolutely believe the accuser and DEMAND an FBI investigation and hearings that were more than political theater.

Scratch that. The actual suggested course of action of Republicans prior to the election was that, if Hillary Clinton should win, they would deline to hold hearings to replace Antonin Scalia for HRC's ENTIRE 4 year term!

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-78.

More Delusions From Mystere, A Low IQ Imbecilic Trumper Who Clearly Has Some Serious Mental Problems

Mystere, a delusional trumper who has a history of screwing with other bloggers and (in the process) getting in trouble for TOS violations, has posted more nonsense (about me) on his "Cleveland Foxers" WordPress blog.

An Open Letter To Libturd Dervish Sanders. Posted on September 20, 2018 by myfoxmystere Hey Dervish: YOU LOST! You falsely accused me of hacking into your account again. This time, I showed them evidence of YOU faking getting hacked. YOU got in touch with some others to fake getting hacked. It didn't work.

This is a lie. I did not accuse Mystere of hacking into my Gravatar account AGAIN. I truthfully accused him once. And it would be IMPOSSIBLE for him to show evidence of "faking getting hacked" because no such evidence exists. Because this did not happen. I never "got in touch with some others to fake getting hacked".

Mystere lies. Or his mentally diseased brain dreamt up this delusion to explain why I'm the bad guy. Despite Automattic deciding I was telling the truth. My account was hacked and Automattic (the company that owns Gravatar and WordPress) decided to remove myfoxmystere's WordPress blogs due to TOS violations. I assume (although they did not tell me) that they determined that Mystere DID hack my account.

Mystere, a extremely low-IQ imbecile, thinks Automattic would suspend a person's blog because someone lied about their account being hacked? They don't have people working for them that are smarter than to fall for such lies (re Mystere's delusions that I "faked getting hacked")?

By the way, while I could say "YOU LOST" to Mystere, given the fact that he lost his blogs, I have never viewed it that way. I reported the violation and left it to Automattic to decide what they would do with that information. I did not expect that they would suspend multiple WordPress blogs belonging to Mystere (as it turns out he lost even more blogs than I knew he had at the time).

What happened was that I noticed comments made with my account (clearly indicating a hack or some other trickery) and reported it. I also noted that I suspected Mystere because one of the fake comments showed up as being made with my account, but had Mystere's avatar attached to it.

I linked to the page (that the above image is a screenshot of) as my proof that the hacker was Mystere. In addition to sending Automattic the links to all of his fake comments.

WordPress uses something they call a "hovercard". If you hover over a user's avatar, a short description of the user is displayed. The first image (above) shows a comment that was supposedly made by me. But with Mystere's avatar attached to it. The second image (above) shows what happened when I hovered over the avatar. Which is that Mystere's hovercard is displayed. And NO, I did not dummy up this image in Photoshop! I created this screenshot so I could post it on my blog. I sent Automattic links so they could see the fake comments for themselves.

PROOF that Mystere faked comments from me on his blog. And the reason (I assume) that his WordPress blogs were suspended. So you can STFU, Mystere! I have proof, you only have your delusions. Why Mystere says I lost I have no idea. I checked his WordPress blogs and they are still suspended. If he had convinced Automattic that they should be reinstated that could be a reason for him to say I "lost". But 4 of his 5 WordPress blogs (see my sidebar) are still suspended.

I do not have a WordPress blog, but I do have a Gravatar account. Mystere says he reported me and that, as a result of my TOS violations, I will lose this account (I assume he believes).

Mystere: ...now I'm going to report you to Wordpress with the evidence in the email I got from them. Dumb move, Dervy boy! (9/14/2018 at 2:08 PM) WYM comment.

But my Gravatar account has not been suspended. If it was that could be a reason for him to say I lost. But (so far) it has not been. The "dumb move" was what you did, Mystere. You reported me... for what? I did not do what you accuse me of. Therefore there is no evidence to support your bullshit accusations. The only reason you are doing this is to try and get Automattic to suspend my Gravatar account.

Mystere: I haven't spoken with WORDPRESS yet. I have no idea who hacked your account, Fartbreath. I'll make sure your accounts get wiped out when I settle this. You messed with me and I have allies who will back me up. (5/15/2018 at 2:26am). WYD comment.

I did not forget Mystere's threat. He wrote, "I'll make sure your accounts get wiped out when I settle this". Mystere did not settle this (get his WordPress blogs back). But he is TRYING to follow through on his threat. I still have my Gravatar account, Mystere (the only account I have with Automattic that could be "wiped out"). Yet Mystere thinks that I've lost??

For the record, when I refer to Mystere having a HISTORY of getting in trouble for TOS violations, I refer to him losing his WordPress blogs, as well as the loss of a sockpuppet he called "Porky's Big Payback". I don't know the whole story, only that "Porky [was] booted from Google over some bogus accusation a few years ago". I assume that by "bogus" Mystere means GENUINE (this info via a 9/12/2017 "Rattrapper" WYD comment). I would not be surprised AT ALL to find out that Mystere has lost other blogs and sockpuppets due to TOS violations.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-077.

A Description Of Donald Trump's Penis For Mystere To Slobber Over

Note that I have no problem whatsoever with the fact that Mystere is gay. My problem is that he is a hypocrite about it. As a trump Conservative who views himself as "Christian", Mystere is convinced that God hates the same people he hates (Muslims, gay and trans people, illegal aliens, Black Democrats, Democratic women, Liberals, never-trump republicans, anyone who is pro-choice, anyone paying attention who realizes how awful DJT is, etc... I'm sure the list goes on and on).

Mystere: Derwood claims he's a Christian, but supports everything vile in God's eyes. The snake worshipper Dervish Sanders backs Muslims and other anti Christian groups, calling those who call him out racists, hate mongers and homophobes. Dervish's Metropolitian Church buttboys troll alongside with him at Rational Nation USA, The Swoosh Zone and Shaw Kenawe's blog known as Boston Piggy's. (6/24/2017 at 10:14pm. Excerpted from a "Funny Misadventures of a Troll" blog post).

Mystere absolutely is a homophobe. Also (as is often the case with hate mongering republicans) a closeted gay man. A hypocrite who takes out the hate he feels for himself on other gay people. Although these would be gay people who are not ashamed to be as God made them.

Anyway, it looks like Stormy Daniels is coming out with a book. A memoir that includes a recounting of her sexual encounter with the gross Orange Turd. Mystere, a devoted brainwashed member of the Orange Turd Cult, kneels down and worships at the feet of his Orange Turd leader. No doubt while admiring the ugly Orange Turd for (in Mystere's mind) his chiseled good looks and manly physique *shudder* (an "alpha male" according to Minus FJ).

Given this likely reality, I thought I'd be a mensch and post an excerpt from a Yahoo news article I recently stumbled across. What follows is a description of the Orange Turd's member from Stormy Daniels' book. A description that could quite likely have a lust-filled Mystere slobbering and drooling in short order.

Daniels, in her book, describes Trump's penis as "unusual" and with a "huge mushroom head, like a toadstool". She also says it was "smaller than average" but "not freakishly small", according to The Guardian. She also reportedly describes sex with Trump: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion" (Link).

The only part of this story that will probably disappoint Mystere is that it describes Trump having sex... with a woman. Something Mystere might be grossed out by. Although most of this excerpt has to do with the description of the Orange Turd's member. Which could get the pervert Mystere pretty excited. And possibly engorged.

Unless he dismisses it as "fake news". Because surely Trump's penis is impressive and not deformed and small as Daniels describes it. Perhaps, if Mystere reads this post, he'll let us know which it is. On the other hand, everyone can see Trump's unusual orange skin (what is not covered up by clothing). Obviously Trump believes orange skin is a good look. So a deformed toadstool penis might be desirable (to Mystere) as well.

My strong suspicion is that is. By which I mean Mystere will beat his meat (and produce some white gravy) while reading the description of Trump's junk. And lustfully long to see it for himself. In order to confirm that it is as awesome as Stormy says. I suspect Mystere will lie, however. And say that he has no interest at all in Donald Trump's penis.

Being straight, I have no clue; I have heard, however, that people are happier when they acknowledge the truth about themselves. Time to come out of the closet, Mystere. You will be much happier if you do (I suspect). He might decide to kill himself, however. If he is incapable of accepting the fact that he is attracted to men. In which case it might be better for him to stay in the closet.

Image: An orange toadstool that might closely resemble Donald Trump's penis. Although clearly much larger.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-76.

Mystere Blows A Gift Horse

"I have been lying low for awhile, but I have returned" Pookie Toot Toot told Mystere. Pookie the pooka often appeared to Mystere after a few tokes from his bong.

"I've missed you, my friend. But why did you go into hiding?" Mystere inquired. He was relieved to see his mythical acquaintance, an 8 foot tall humanoid with the head of a fish. He had been worried something had happened to him. "I was traveling the outer planes" Pookie explained. "It was quite the adventure. I encountered an avatar of Baal and only narrowly escaped with my life".

"Wow" Mystere remarked. "Baal is the God that asswipe Dervy worships. At least that is what my buttboi Don Key told me". Pookie looked annoyed. He did not know who either of these people were, nor did he care.

"My wounds were great. It took me a long time to recover. That is why I haven't been able to visit you" Pookie continued, attempting to steer the conversation back to HIM. Mystere thought on what his friend told him, then he said "I scarfed a lot - and I mean a LOT - of shrooms last weekend in the hopes you would show up, but you didn't. Now I know why".

"See this" Pookie said, holding up his left fin. An angry red scar ran horizontally across the appendage oozed pus. "Not yet fully healed. Baal just about ripped it off" Pookie said, wincing. Then he farted. Loudly. A stink cloud with the aroma of digested seaweed and feces enveloped the two. "That smells fantastic!" Mystere (an eproctophile) exclaimed, drinking in the fragrant toot.

Just then Mystere heard the front door open. A short while later a burly heavyset man entered the living room. "I thought I would find you here" Rikishi grumbled disapprovingly. "Getting high, as usual". Rikishi's nose wrinkled up. "It smells like fish farts in here" the wrestler said, sniffing the air. "Not bad" he decided. "You had sushi for dinner?".

"No, my friend Pookie is here" Mystere explained, pointing to where the very tall fish man stood, dripping slime onto the carpet. Rikishi looked where his husband pointed, but saw no one. "After a long day of wrestling I am far too tired for sex. I am going straight to sleep" Rikishi announced. "I do, however, expect breakfast in bed. 6:30am sharp! Followed by my morning BJ". Rikishi turned and left.

"He didn't even acknowledge your presence" Mystere said. "How rude". Then, thinking of the morning BJ, licked his lips. He was really looking forward to that. "That's OK" Pookie replied. "It often takes an altered conscious to perceive me". "Yeah, I guess he couldn't see you" Mystere deduced, taking another hit from his bong. He opened his mouth and several puffs of smoke escaped his lips. Mystere giggled.

The room started spinning and he passed out. Mystere drifted off and soon entered REM sleep. A large stallion trotted through a field of daisies and clover. Seeing Mystere, the stallion approached him. Then it turned, lifted it's leg, and took a long hot piss.

Steam rose from the urine-soaked earth. Mystere breathed the fumes in deeply. When the steam dissipated Mystere noted with amazement the size of the stallion's member. "Magnificent!" Mystere marveled. "I'd really like to get my hands AND mouth on it" Mystere declared, his voice filled with lustful desire. "You are in luck" Farmer Jones replied, approaching from behind Mystere.

Mystere turned to face the owner of this fine animal, Farmer Jones. "I will allow you to do with my stallion whatever you wish. Consider it my gift to you" Farmer Jones informed Mystere. "This stallion, I can attest, is an excellent blow horse who will soon fill your mouth with copious amounts of white gravy".

Mystere licked his lips in anticipation. Suddenly (just as it was about to get good) he was rudely awakened from his dream by the incredible sensation of a rough tongue licking his butthole. "I didn't think you'd mind" Pookie insisted. An incredibly long forked tongue slowly retracted, accompanied by a loud slurping noise. "Not at all" Mystere replied, the dream fading from his memory. "You can do that some more if you'd like".

"No, I'm good" Pookie said. "I've got to be going, in any case". Before Mystere could say anything, Pookie Toot Toot began to fade away, transitioning to the ethereal plane. This was an innate ability of his kind, as Mystere understood it. Standing, Mystere took a step and tripped and fell because his pants and (My Little Pony) undies were down around his ankles.

"Oof" Mystere cried as he went down. He tried to push himself up, but his hands slipped in a puddle of fish slime. Mystere went down again, smacking his head on the living room floor. "F*ck!" Mystere muttered, sitting up. "Hey, this isn't slime, it's my poop" Mystere said, licking his hand. Or maybe it belonged to his dog, Buttstink. He was housebroken, although Mystere rarely let him out to do his business, so he just pooped (and peed) wherever.

Looking out the window, Mystere noticed a full moon. Light from the glowing satellite filled the room. The clock read 12:20am. Mystere placed his hands on the coffee table and pushed himself to his feet. Pulling up his undies and slacks, Mystere noted with alarm that his 3 baggies of marijuana, along with his bong, were missing. Mystere was certain they had been on the coffee table earlier in the evening.

"Damn!" Mystere screamed. Pookie must have swiped them. This wouldn't be the first time either. Mystere fumed. He had used the remainder of his weekly allowance to buy that pot. Now he was going to have to go 2 whole days before he could get high again!

Mystere yawned. Time for bed, he decided. Making his way to the bedroom, Mystere slipped in between the sheets next to his slumbering husband. Rikishi snored loudly. Remembering the dream, Mystere donned his noise canceling headphones and placed his head on the cool pillow, hopeful he would soon be back with the magnificent stallion, bobbing down below with ferocity as the powerful stud bucked and neighed in ecstasy.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-75. TF-6. See also the Fartbreath Mystere 9/14/2018 post "Dervish Blows His 1 Gift Horse".

Delusional Confabulating Nutjob Who Calls Himself "Mystere" Writes Fake (And Stupid) Comment He Says I Submitted To His Blog

I recently noticed a bizarre commentary on one of Mystere's many blogs. Apparently he believes I submitted a comment to a WordPress blog of his called "Cleveland Foxers".

Thursday, September 13, 2018. Dervish Sanders' unedited email retort on Cleveland Foxers. I got a notification of a comment waiting for moderation at my Cleveland Foxers blog site: September 3 2018 Dervish Sandersf Email address: adfad@dfafa.com Aww...did ***** pull his personal photos off his social media places...? No more pics of ***** looking like he is made of melting crisco? Doesn't matter, *****. I have your photos. I'm going to start using them in creative ways.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dervish Sanders knows he's banned from replying on the Cleveland Foxers site. I thought I'd just show you readers this ridiculous retort here from Dervish Sanders… or is it Pookie Toot Toot? Posted by mystere's moonbat slayer club at 2:37 PM. Labels: Dervish Sanders, Lester Liberalmann, Pookie Toot Toot, This 0ne.

This is a lie. I did not author or submit this moronic comment to any of Mystere's blogs. So what's going on? An idiotic lie? A fevered delusion dreamt up by Mystere's mentally diseased brain?

Perhaps someone is punking Mystere? He does seem to think he has many enemies. Although I do not know if this is true or not. It might be, given what an asshole he is (a fact that would easily explain him having many enemies). He seems to be extremely paranoid. Pair that with his delusional brain and the result is "enemies" that may or may not exist.

In any case, if this message is "unedited", what's up with all the asterixis? Also, notice that my name is, according to Mystere, "Dervish Sandersf". Huh? My name ends with an "s", not an "f".

For the record, I noticed that Mystere grabbed all the pictures he could find that I've posted on my blog and Google+ page. Which he photoshopped (poorly). Adding word balloons (having my canines saying dumb shit). And he made one where his husband Rikishi farts in my dog's face.

I did examine all his pages (that I could find) and grab his pictures. And I did photoshop one picture. This would be the one of Mystere wearing his favorite T-shirt that is a part of my header and also on my sidebar. But that's it. Bad photoshopping is what Mystere finds hilarious. The idiot apparently believes they are super sick burns. A clue that he wrote this comment IMO. He says I'm threatening to photoshop pictures of "*****" (whoever that is), when that's what he does.

And why did Mystere blank out "*****"? I assume this is a name, but one he does not want known. "*****" must not be a replacement for "Mystere". Since blanking his own name would be kind of nonsensical. So what the hell does "*****" replace? Damned if I know.

What's the point of this bullshit? Did he just want to see if he could get a reaction out of me? Who knows. The explanation might just be that Mystere is crazy. Finally, does anyone (beside Mystere) know who the f*ck "Pookie Toot Toot" is?? Apparently this figment of Mystere's imagination is also a suspect.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-74.

tRump (A Piece of Shit) Almost Certainly Lied About Hiring Workers To Identify Bodies At Ground Zero 2 Days After 9/11

According to the trumper blogger Lisa, Donald tRump hired workers to identify bodies two days after the September 11th attacks. He did this because he is a selfless man who gives back to his community and his country.

As per Lisa's blog post "Our President A True American", people should "share this photo to remind people exactly what kind of American our President is!".

Except that this claim is almost certainly a lie. First of all, the picture in question was taken on 9/18/2001, 7 days after the attacks. tRump was, however, present at Ground Zero two days after the attack. This we know because he gave an interview to NBC.

What happened, IMO, is that tRump went down to the site of the fallen towers, got before a news camera... and LIED. Snopes says they contacted the Trump organization and the Trump White House. They asked for corroboration but got no response.

Of course, no response does not de facto mean tRump lied. Trump, however, has a history of taking credit for good deeds he has absolutely nothing to do with (same as he is currently taking credit for the Obama recovery).

According to the Washington Post's David Fahrenthold... the Association to Benefit Children, a charity, held a 1996 ribbon-cutting at a nursery school serving children with AIDS in Manhattan. Bigwigs who had donated a lot of money, like then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani, former mayor David Dinkins, and Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford were in attendance. But there was another dude who showed up—despite not being a major donor. Guess who. "Nobody knew he was coming", another donor in attendance told the Washington Post. "There's this kind of ruckus at the door, and I don't know what was going on, and in comes Donald Trump. [He] just gets up on the podium and sits down". According to the charity's executive director, Donald Trump had never given a single dollar to the charity or the nursery school. But you know who did? The dude whose seat was stolen by Trump. (Trump Crashed a Charity Event in 1996 for Kids With AIDS, Danced the Macarena, And Didn't Donate a Cent by Mac McCann. Complex 10/31/2016).

Can you believe the nerve of this piece of shit (AKA the Orange Turd)? YES, he's lied about being responsible for good deeds he had nothing at all to do with in the past. The above story is an example of an instance where he got caught.

So, YES, in regards to tRump hiring workers to identify bodies at Ground Zero - I'd bet a LOT of money he told a 100% fabricated story to the NBC reporter. If it were true, you'd think that someone would have gotten back to Snopes with the evidence they were requesting. I mean, does anyone think that the narcissistic tRump would not want the credit if he had actually done this?

No, he LIED. He went down to Ground Zero to mug for the cameras. Likely with the intention of feeding this bogus story to a news reporter. If you are a tRump supporter who disagrees... where is the proof? Give me the proof and I'll admit I'm wrong. Otherwise STFU.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-73. See also the 9/12/2018 RNUSA post Remembering Trump's Dishonesty, Self Aggrandizement, and Personal Gain Following 911.

Speaking Of Laughable

Another meme from the WYD trumper blog. This one in response to Nike releasing an advert featuring Colin Kaepernick. An individual I consider a patriot and a heroic American (for the record).

I guess it doesn't matter that the claim that Kaepernick "sucks" at football is false.

Kaepernick played college football for the University of Nevada in Reno, where he was named the Western Athletic Conference (WAC) Offensive Player of the Year twice and became the only player in NCAA Division I FBS history to amass 10,000 passing yards and 4,000 rushing yards in a career. [Kaepernick] became the 49ers' starter in the middle of the 2012 season... then remained the team's starting quarterback for the rest of the season, leading the team to their first Super Bowl appearance since 1994. During the 2013 season, his first full season as a starter, Kaepernick helped the 49ers reach the NFC Championship Game. (Source).

The comparison to Al Bundy is laughable. Al Bundy played High School, not professional football. Al Bundy worked at a shoe store as a salesman. Kaepernick starred as a spokesperson for a big name brand in a nationally run advertisement.

But trumpers clearly do not concern themselves with facts. They hate Kaepernick, therefore he must suck at football. Apparently his mistake was deciding to become a free agent. Because of his protesting of police violence against African Americans (by kneeling during the national anthem) no team decided to hire him. The decision had nothing to do with him "sucking" at football, because he does not suck. Just the opposite.

By the way, Kaepernick, in the ad, has a large afro. I mention this due to the following idiotic comment from a certain racist commenter on Lisa's blog.

Franco Aragosta: Since trimming off his AFRO, Colin Kaepernick looks less ASININE, but he' still as DESPERATELY UNATTRACTIVE as ever. (9/7/2018 at 1:16pm).

So, I guess this racist idiot Franco (AKA FreeThinke) is talking about the picture of Kaepernick in the meme. But that is not a current picture. In the Nike ad he has a large afro.

By the way, if Kaepernick is "desperately unattractive" it surely has nothing at all to do with his superior football skills. But, not surprisingly, Franco is a shallow narcissist (with delusions of grandeur) just like the stupid ugly orange turd he worships. How laughably pathetic is this Franco asshole?

Of course he has to tear other people down to make himself feel better. Because, as is the case with all narcissists, he likely knows he is a fraud. Deep down. Just like the Orange Turd (a raging egomaniac) Franco is clearly deeply insecure.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-72.

Ode To A Fat Narcissistic Racist Misogynist Orange Turd (A Poem)

A fat racist misogynistic narcissistic orange turd is filled with hate.
His predecessor he continues to castigate.
"I've brought prosperity" the turd does crow.
The Black man who came before made the economy blow.
The turd cares not that this is a lie.
The poorly educated believe him, their intelligence is not high.
Very fine people who are Nazis and in the KKK love the turd.
Omarosa heard the tape where he repeats the N-word.
A White Nationalist who calls himself Franco screams "ni**er" out loud.
Yet has the temerity to claim the racists are in the opposing crowd.
The turd betrayed his country to steal an election.
For a majority of voters the turd was not their selection.
Putin in Helsinki admitted the turd was his guy.
The fat racist turd is a traitor and should fry.

Note: I say the Orange Turd should fry, not that he must. I'd be satisfied with a extremely lengthy prison sentence. This is not a death threat but a call for justice.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-71.

Disturbingly Misplaced Priorities

Another meme from the Who's Your Daddy blog. This one illustrates the disturbingly misplaced priorities of trumpers.

IMO this cartoon also shows just how much trumpers revel in being assholes. They derive joy from the misery of others. Instead of trying to make the case that a Trump presidency will be good for all Americans, they outright acknowledge that it will not be.

Hey trumpers, remember when we, following the "election" of the Orange Turd, said he's "not my president" and you thought that was stupid? So, now they are acknowledging that we were right. Trump is NOT our president. At least Lisa, the proprietor of WYD acknowledges it. And is joyful that Trump is destroying the world.

Yes, Trump's EPA is damaging OUR environment. Trump is actively attempting to destroy the ACA, raising health care costs for EVERYBODY. I could go on, but the point is that Trump administration policies are not just harming Liberals exclusively.

I guess these idiots actually believe there are two different worlds. And that the world of non-Trump supporters can be destroyed while the world of Trump supporters can be MAGA. Remember when Barack Obama ran for president the first time and he said that there is no Red American and there is no Blue America? That we're all Americans?

Donald Trump ran with an opposing message. Trump promised that not only was he going to give his base what they want, he promised to go out of his way to harm those who don't support him. He's the asshole's president. If you are a trumper who delights in the misery of "libtards", you are an asshole.

Which isn't really a surprise, given the fact that most of these people are racists, bigots, misogynists (the men) or accepting of misogyny (the women). Because they are deplorable, as Hillary Clinton accurately pointed out.

I wanted the presidency of Barack Obama to benefit all Americans. I was dismayed when I discovered just how much HATE there was for Obama, a lot of it due to the fact that he is a Black man. Trump saw that and capitalized on the hate. By jumping on the Birther bandwagon. Much later he said he thought Obama was born in United States, but WE ALL KNOW he only said that to get the media off his back.

He ran as the racist White Nationalist candidate (wink, wink). Not the openingly racist White Nationalist candidate. People paying attention know this. Yet he and his followers continue to lie. He isn't racist. He isn't a bigot. He isn't a misogynist. Bullshit!

BTW, is the estate of Charles Schulz looking into this misappropriation of his work (without permission) by Dixon Diaz? I mean, the nerve of this jackass to sign his name to the work of Charles Schulz! You'd think that the copyright owners wouldn't appreciate the appropriation of their intellectual property.

Unless someone else took a Peanuts cartoon and replaced the words in the bubbles. Either way it's pretty f*cking offensive. That what is important to these people is not to have Trump work on behalf of the American people, but to ONLY try and please the base. Even if it hurts them (i.e. the farmers who are being economically harmed by Trump's tariffs). So long as "Libtards" are pissed they are happy. Unbelievable!

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-70.