Mystere Blows A Gift Horse

"I have been lying low for awhile, but I have returned" Pookie Toot Toot told Mystere. Pookie the pooka often appeared to Mystere after a few tokes from his bong.

"I've missed you, my friend. But why did you go into hiding?" Mystere inquired. He was relieved to see his mythical acquaintance, an 8 foot tall humanoid with the head of a fish. He had been worried something had happened to him. "I was traveling the outer planes" Pookie explained. "It was quite the adventure. I encountered an avatar of Baal and only narrowly escaped with my life".

"Wow" Mystere remarked. "Baal is the God that asswipe Dervy worships. At least that is what my buttboi Don Key told me". Pookie looked annoyed. He did not know who either of these people were, nor did he care.

"My wounds were great. It took me a long time to recover. That is why I haven't been able to visit you" Pookie continued, attempting to steer the conversation back to HIM. Mystere thought on what his friend told him, then he said "I scarfed a lot - and I mean a LOT - of shrooms last weekend in the hopes you would show up, but you didn't. Now I know why".

"See this" Pookie said, holding up his left fin. An angry red scar ran horizontally across the appendage oozed pus. "Not yet fully healed. Baal just about ripped it off" Pookie said, wincing. Then he farted. Loudly. A stink cloud with the aroma of digested seaweed and feces enveloped the two. "That smells fantastic!" Mystere (an eproctophile) exclaimed, drinking in the fragrant toot.

Just then Mystere heard the front door open. A short while later a burly heavyset man entered the living room. "I thought I would find you here" Rikishi grumbled disapprovingly. "Getting high, as usual". Rikishi's nose wrinkled up. "It smells like fish farts in here" the wrestler said, sniffing the air. "Not bad" he decided. "You had sushi for dinner?".

"No, my friend Pookie is here" Mystere explained, pointing to where the very tall fish man stood, dripping slime onto the carpet. Rikishi looked where his husband pointed, but saw no one. "After a long day of wrestling I am far too tired for sex. I am going straight to sleep" Rikishi announced. "I do, however, expect breakfast in bed. 6:30am sharp! Followed by my morning BJ". Rikishi turned and left.

"He didn't even acknowledge your presence" Mystere said. "How rude". Then, thinking of the morning BJ, licked his lips. He was really looking forward to that. "That's OK" Pookie replied. "It often takes an altered conscious to perceive me". "Yeah, I guess he couldn't see you" Mystere deduced, taking another hit from his bong. He opened his mouth and several puffs of smoke escaped his lips. Mystere giggled.

The room started spinning and he passed out. Mystere drifted off and soon entered REM sleep. A large stallion trotted through a field of daisies and clover. Seeing Mystere, the stallion approached him. Then it turned, lifted it's leg, and took a long hot piss.

Steam rose from the urine-soaked earth. Mystere breathed the fumes in deeply. When the steam dissipated Mystere noted with amazement the size of the stallion's member. "Magnificent!" Mystere marveled. "I'd really like to get my hands AND mouth on it" Mystere declared, his voice filled with lustful desire. "You are in luck" Farmer Jones replied, approaching from behind Mystere.

Mystere turned to face the owner of this fine animal, Farmer Jones. "I will allow you to do with my stallion whatever you wish. Consider it my gift to you" Farmer Jones informed Mystere. "This stallion, I can attest, is an excellent blow horse who will soon fill your mouth with copious amounts of white gravy".

Mystere licked his lips in anticipation. Suddenly (just as it was about to get good) he was rudely awakened from his dream by the incredible sensation of a rough tongue licking his butthole. "I didn't think you'd mind" Pookie insisted. An incredibly long forked tongue slowly retracted, accompanied by a loud slurping noise. "Not at all" Mystere replied, the dream fading from his memory. "You can do that some more if you'd like".

"No, I'm good" Pookie said. "I've got to be going, in any case". Before Mystere could say anything, Pookie Toot Toot began to fade away, transitioning to the ethereal plane. This was an innate ability of his kind, as Mystere understood it. Standing, Mystere took a step and tripped and fell because his pants and (My Little Pony) undies were down around his ankles.

"Oof" Mystere cried as he went down. He tried to push himself up, but his hands slipped in a puddle of fish slime. Mystere went down again, smacking his head on the living room floor. "F*ck!" Mystere muttered, sitting up. "Hey, this isn't slime, it's my poop" Mystere said, licking his hand. Or maybe it belonged to his dog, Buttstink. He was housebroken, although Mystere rarely let him out to do his business, so he just pooped (and peed) wherever.

Looking out the window, Mystere noticed a full moon. Light from the glowing satellite filled the room. The clock read 12:20am. Mystere placed his hands on the coffee table and pushed himself to his feet. Pulling up his undies and slacks, Mystere noted with alarm that his 3 baggies of marijuana, along with his bong, were missing. Mystere was certain they had been on the coffee table earlier in the evening.

"Damn!" Mystere screamed. Pookie must have swiped them. This wouldn't be the first time either. Mystere fumed. He had used the remainder of his weekly allowance to buy that pot. Now he was going to have to go 2 whole days before he could get high again!

Mystere yawned. Time for bed, he decided. Making his way to the bedroom, Mystere slipped in between the sheets next to his slumbering husband. Rikishi snored loudly. Remembering the dream, Mystere donned his noise canceling headphones and placed his head on the cool pillow, hopeful he would soon be back with the magnificent stallion, bobbing down below with ferocity as the powerful stud bucked and neighed in ecstasy.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-75. TF-6. See also the Fartbreath Mystere 9/14/2018 post "Dervish Blows His 1 Gift Horse".