Greetings, enemies. My name is Eddie Mystere, although you can call me Fartbreath Mystere. I am known as "Fartbreath" because I really enjoy eating farts. Especially those of my husband, a very famous WWE wrestler that goes by the ring name "Rikishi". Impressed? You should be.
I have been a contributor to this blog since the beginning. Although I have authored very few commentaries. Lately I have been very busy writing commentaries for my numerous blogs on the topic of moonbat men who have sex with dogs. This is a subject that I am extremely interested in. As you may or may not know, when a man has sex with a dog it is the pleasure of a lifetime. For the dog. For the man it feels pretty good too. I assume.
I say "I assume" because sex with a dog is illegal. I am therefore denying that I have ever boinked a canine. But if I were to insert "little Mystere" into a male dog's anus it would feel GREAT. You could ask my dog, Buttstink Too. If he could talk. Which he can't and therefore can not rat me out. Although I don't know why he would, since I am giving him the pleasure of a lifetime by having buttsex with him. Or I would be, if I were to do that. Which I absolutely never will (admit to doing).
BTW, I changed my Blogger display name awhile ago. Previously I went by the name "Klansman Mystere" and claimed I was a member of the Klan. Honestly I did intend to join that very fine organization. Turns out they didn't want a "chink" as a member and I was told to "f*ck off". "Chink" is a ethnic slur usually referring to a person of Chinese ethnicity. The word is also sometimes indiscriminately used against people of East Asian appearance (Wikipedia excerpt).
Please note that the primary author of this blog does NOT approve of the use of the slur "chink". I mention this because Dervish Sanders, after looking over my commentary, insisted that I make it clear that he disapproves of the use of ethnic slurs. Me, I don't have a problem with them. I use them myself. In regards to myself.
By which I mean that I've used ethnic slurs to describe myself in faked comments on my (suspended) WordPress blogs. I'm talking about comments I faked to make it look like the Blogger This One used a racial slur to disparage me. I doubt this upstanding and very smart blogger (who I hate) ever visited any of my WordPress blogs, though.
Unfortunately Dervish Sanders did look at my WordPress blogs, notice I was faking comments by him, reported me to WordPress, and got my WordPress blogs suspended.
Dervish Sanders should be very worried because I am plotting revenge. He will be sorry that he ever messed with me. I told him this, so I don't know why he continues to allow me to contribute to this blog. It might be because "Fartbreath Mystere" is a spoof ID. Although I stridently deny this scurrilous accusation. "Fartbreath Mystere" is just another of my many IDs. Some which I acknowledge are mine, others which I claim are my "team members" (but are really just sockpuppets).
Anyway, back to farts. I love to eat them (as I previously mentioned). I also love sniffing them. The sulfurous aroma sexually excites me. I like to crouch behind my husband and yank out some white gravy while he toots in my face. It gets me high when I deeply inhale my husband Rikishi's fragrant farts. BTW, I know you are judging me! But don't knock it until you try it. The white gravy belongs to Rikishi, and (for the record), I was referring to a reach-around.
Now, given that I am a man who is married to (and has sex) with a man, you may assume I am a homo. Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. I am a straight Christian dude who acknowledges the fact that homosexuality is vile in God's eyes. This is why I identify as straight. Yes, I am a sinner (as we all are) but being a sinner does not make me gay, Libturds!
Note that this introductory posting replaces my previous introductory commentary "Meet WYM Co-Author, Klansman Mystere". I am not, nor have I ever been a member of the Klan. I lied. Just because lying is fun. Like I said, I did try to join but was told to beat it. Their loss.
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