Sunday, November 25, 2018

Mystere Dabbles In Necrophilia

"Can I come in and sit down? How about over there". Mystere's ex-boyfriend Chad (who was currently standing just inside the vestibule off the kitchen, having entered from the back yard) pointed to the kitchen table. "No" Mystere said, standing firm. "Let me know what you want, then I want you to go". Chad looked uncomfortable. Then he said "OK, Mystere, since you've forced my hand I'll cut to the chase".

"I'm in deep trouble. Financially. I owe my bookie, Dick Peyronie, a lot of money. Since you're married to a successful WWE wrestler, I thought you could help me out". "No, no, no". Mystere insisted. "Rikishi made some bad investments and lost a lot of the money he accumulated back when he was younger. The truth is, he had to take a pay cut recently due to his declining popularity. Sorry, but I can't help you".

Then it hit Mystere. He knew this Dick Peyronie person Chad said he owed money to. It was some dude he used to have sex with, back when he was a member of NAMBLA. He specifically recalled a three-way he, Chad and Dick had participated in when Mystere was just 11 years old. That was the first time he'd had sex with another man.

Another man beside his father, that is (who started molesting Mystere when he was 7). Dick Peyronie, in fact, was the man most responsible for Mystere's prowess at oral sex. Mystere remembered it was Dick's member which he practiced on for hours until he became a pro at pleasuring the male organ.

"Just threaten to expose him as a member of NAMBLA" Mystere suggested. "Isn't the guy married? Threaten to tell his wife". "No, Mystere. I can't do that". Mystere looked confused. "Well, why the hell not?". "Because I'm a member of NAMBLA" Chad explained. "Sure" Mystere agreed. "We both were. But those guys took advantage of us. We're victims. Nobody will hold that against you, Chad".

"I'm not talking about when we were kids. I'm a current member" Chad explained. "Anyway, back to my financial problems. I, and I am quite embarrassed to admit this, got involved in an online fantasy football league. At first I won. But then I started losing. What I thought was a temporary losing streak that I'd turn around eventually ended up costing me a lot of money. Dick said he'd front me the money I needed to keep playing".

"I already sold my car. The cherry red ferrari you liked so much. And my parents disowned me when they found out I'm gay, so I can't go to them for money. I had to take the bus here, Mystere. I walked three miles from the f*cking bus stop to get to your house. Please, you're the only person I can turn to".

At this point Chad started weeping. What a pussy, Mystere thought. "Please, Mystere, you've got to help me" Chad pleeded. "Dick says he needs the money real bad and will hurt me if I can't get it for him fast". "No can do, Chad" Mystere said cooly. "I still owe Dick 5 thousand dollars. Probably not a lot for you. I've got to have it, Mystere" Chad sniffled. Mystere really didn't care. Then Chad made a big mistake and shoved Mystere. Or maybe he was coming in for a hug. But Mystere wasn't having it. He shoved Chad back.

Then he pulled Rikishi's 9mm out of his waistband and pointed it at Chad. "I want you to leave. NOW". Mystere, Chad could see, was dead serious. "Wait" Chad said, his voice quivering. He was clearly afraid of the gun. Mystere took out the silencer and screwed it onto the end of the weapon. Chad's face turned white and his eyes grew wide. "So, your mother tells me that you're going steady with Rikishi's sister" Chad whispered.

"What?" Mystere responded, confused. "Your mother, who I visited yesterday, told me that you're going steady with Rikishi's sister". Mystere lowered the gun, stunned. "The thing is, Mystere, Rikishi doesn't have a sister. I'd really hate to have to tell your mother that you're married. To a man".

Now Mystere was pissed. How dare Chad threaten to tell his mother about his living arrangement with Rikishi! Of course she would get the wrong idea and assume he was gay. Instead of totally straight. Which Mystere was. Mystere was so mad that, without even realizing it, he pulled the trigger. A silenced shot went off and Chad clutched his belly, then doubled over.

"You shot me!" an astonished Chad cried as blood gushed from his wound. "Oops" Mystere squeaked. "I didn't mean to do that". Chad staggered. "You've got to call an ambulance" Chad pleaded. "No way" Mystere exclaimed. "I don't want to go to prison!". Chad went down to his knees. Blood spurted from his belly onto the tiled floor. "Jeez, you're making a big mess" Mystere complained.

Chad fell over onto his side. Dead, apparently. "Oh no, what have I done?" Mystere wailed. "Stupid, Mystere, stupid". What he should have done was pretend to go along with giving Chad the money, had sex with him, then told him to get the f*ck out. That would have shown him. Now he was in big trouble. Rikishi was going to be so angry.

Mystere thought about it for awhile. After he finished crying. I've got to hide the body, Mystere decided. "Damn, I'd really liked to have sodomized Chad's anus one last time" Mystere lamented. Although who's to say I still can't? Mystere had to admit that he was suddenly quite curious about what it would be like to have sex with someone who had passed on.

Mystere rolled Chad's body over so he was face down. Then he pulled down his pants. "You've got this coming, Chad". Mystere's anger returned and he had hate sex with Chad's corpse. "I feel a lot better" Mystere decided after he'd finished. Then he heard Chad groan. What, he's not dead? Chad's eyelids fluttered. "Help me" Chad moaned. "Chad, you bastard! Why don't you die already"? Mystere picked up his gun from where it was lying on the floor. Closing his eyes, he fired in the general direction of where Chad had crumpled.

After opening his eyes, Mystere crawled over to where Chad was lying. This time he was sure Chad was dead, given that there was a bullet hole above his right eye. And the back of his head was blown off. Then Mystere realized that, if Chad had still been alive before, he hadn't had sex with a dead body.

"I guess I have no choice but to go again" Mystere concluded. First Mystere placed a towel over Chad's head. He didn't want to look at that while he humped Chad's dead ass. It took a little longer this go-round, but eventually (after a few minutes) Mystere came a second time. "Wow, I'm spent" a suddenly very sleepy Mystere remarked. "I think I'm going to take a nap". Mystere looked down and noticed that he was covered with blood. "I probably should take a shower first".

Mystere took a warm shower, then crawled into bed and went to sleep. A few hours later he woke up. "I had a really weird dream" Mystere said, still sleepy. "So vivid". Mystere got up, put on his robe, and made his way to the kitchen. He was really hungry. Then Mystere saw a body lying in a large pool of blood in the rear vestibule.

"Oh, my" Mystere exclaimed. "I guess it wasn't a dream". Mystere approached the body. "Look at this f*cking mess" an angry Mystere grumbled. "Your fault" Mystere yelled, kicking Chad in the chest. Chad rolled onto his side. Because his pants and underwear were down around his ankles, Mystere noticed something spectacular concerning his nether region. "Wow" Mystere said, impressed.

Mystere got a mop and pail and started cleaning up the blood. "I'll reward myself after all this hard work with a ride on that impressive erection" Mystere decided. Thank God Rikishi was gone for the weekend. When he left earlier in the day it was to go to the airport to fly to another state for a wrestling gig. Which meant that Mystere had all weekend to clean up this mess and get rid of the body. Also to have sex a few more times with his now deceased ex boyfriend.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-92. TF-12.

6 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I could up the number of comments significantly if all my sockpuppets began discussing the brilliance and imagativiness of this post. No, I don't have as many as you, yet even two sockpuppets could get a lively and extensive conversation going on the awesomeness of my truthy narrative.

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    2. Re your video... the clueless blubbering guy is you after Mueller releases his report.

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  2. Replies
    1. Please, allow this Adventurer some rest. Goblin Slaying is heavy work if/when there are ACTUAL goblins around, and he may need it if/when he actually encounters one. After all "Orc/Goblin lives matter," or don't they?

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