Mystere's Bigly Gay Gang Bang

A 22 year-old Mystere was so excited. He had been in a funk after being dumped by his first love, Chad, spiraling down below. This involved cruising bus stations around the city looking for homeless men who'd allow him to suck them off for a few dollars.

Mystere finally received some good news via a new friend he met on Grindr. Lying in bed next to Brent one evening, his new love revealed that he knew a director who worked in the gāy p0rn industry.

"Really! That's interesting", Mystere exclaimed. "It has been a long time dream of mine to break the world d!ck-sucking record. I'm not sure what the record is", Mystere said. "But I'm positive I could break it".

"I absolutely think you could", Brent agreed. "It so happens I just got a job as an assistant on Gāy Gang Bāng #6, a film that is currently auditioning talent. I'm sure I could convince the director to give you a shot".

Mystere squealed in delight. "Thank you so much Brent!". Mystere slipped underneath the covers and gave Brent a thank you bj.

"That was in appreciation for making a lifelong fantasy of mine come true", Mystere said after he finished.

"Wow!" a breathless Brent whispered. "That was one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had". Brent turned his back to Mystere, pretending to go to sleep. He lay next to Mystere for a while in the dark. "You asleep, Mystere?" Brent asked. Brent was hoping he was because he had another Grindr date lined up in a few hours. Mystere usually wanted to cuddle, which Brent definitely was not into.

Brent felt a finger inserted into his ānus. "Does that answer your question", Mystere quietly breathed into his ear.

"I've got to go", Brent said, pulling away. "The part in Gāy Gang Bāng #6 isn't a sure thing, by the way. I'll put in a good word and see IF I can get you an audition".

"OK", Mystere replied. Suddenly he was worried. To have his dream dangled in front of him, only to be snatched away? He didn't know if he take such disappointment.

"I might have to kill myself if I don't get a part", Mystere said, on the verge of sobbing. Brent pretended he didn't hear, finished dressing and left. "Call me" Mystere shouted as the door of his apartment slammed.

The next day Mystere called in sick to work. "I don't feel well", he told Judy in HR.

"Bob is not going to be happy", Judy told him. "He said there were commercials you needed to finish cutting together so they could air this week".

"I'm sorry", Mystere lied. "I'm too sick to come in today". Mystere fake coughed then hung up before Judy could reply. Mystere had already threatened to tell Bob's wife about their affair. So he took liberties when he wanted and Bob could pound sand if he didn't like it. Mystere went back to sleep. A few hours later Mystere woke to the sound of someone pounding on his door.

"Open up, I know you're in there" a male voice said. Mystere rose to see who it was.

Opening the door completely nude, Mystere saw his boss from the radio station standing before him.

"I've got to have you!" Bob blurted after eyeing Mystere's naked body.

"I'm sick" Mystere fibbed. "That's bullsh!t" Bob declared. Then he forced his way into the apartment, slammed the door behind him, and took Mystere in the butt on the kitchen floor.

"No!" Mystere fake protested. But he was loving it.

Bob grunted as he finished. Then he went into the bathroom to wash up. Mystere got dressed and sat down on the bed. He turned on the TV and flipped around until he found some cartoons. "I'm very cross with you, Mystere", Bob announced after emerging from the bathroom. "I had to cancel a meeting with some important clients to come down to this dump". Bob stroked his mustache and lit a cigarette. Indeed, he looked angry.

"I'm sorry", Mystere apologized. He was worried Bob might tell him he needed a spanking.

"I've had just about enough of these threats to tell my wife about what's going on between us!" Bob roared. "Now she tells me she has been getting a lot of calls from someone who refuses to talk when she answers".

"So what?" Mystere said, getting defensive.

"The calls are from your number, Mystere! I should know. I pay the bill".

"Oh", Mystere said sheepishly.

"This will stop" Bob warned. "I don't like hurting you, but I can NOT tolerate this bad behavior".

Mystere hung his head in shame. Bob had given him a severe thrashing when he found out he was bl0wing homeless guys. That incident left Mystere black and blue for weeks, so he knew Bob was serious.

"I won't do it again", Mystere promised.

"OK", Bob acquiesced. "But you better not be lying to me. Or else". Bob snuffed out his cigarette in a old pizza box lying on the table and walked toward the door. "You better show up for work tomorrow", Bob cautioned Mystere. Then he was gone.

Mystere went to the fridge and grabbed a Fanta. "Yum," Mystere remarked as he guzzled the cold soda. Mystere grabbed a slice of pizza, eating around the cigarette butt as he continued watching cartoons.

Brent called Mystere on his cell a few days later. "I've got good news", Brent said.

"Is it about the Gāy Gang Bāng?" Mystere said excitedly, cutting Brent off.

"Yes. I got you an audition", Brent replied.

Mystere took down the address. "I'll be there", Mystere said hanging up.

The next day Mystere took a long lunch. He was really nervous. Mystere took the bus to the address Brent had given him, a nondescript building in the city.

"I'm here to audition", Mystere told the receptionist, an older woman with a large bust.

"For what?" the big boobed woman said disgustedly, looking him over.

"The Gāng Bāng film", Mystere replied.

"Oh, no. You're not the right type for that film", the lady said condescendingly. "No fatties".

"Brent sent me", Mystere protested.

"I don't know any Brent. And my eyes are up here". The lady pointed to her eyes.

"I'm not looking at your fake tits", Mystere replied. "Ask the director. Brent said he'd tell him he should give Mystere an audition".

"You're Mystere, I take it?" the woman asked, checking a piece of paper.

"Yes", Mystere affirmed.

"Very well", the lady said. "My name is Blanche. Have a seat". The woman waved Mystere toward a waiting room directly across from her. Mystere entered the room and sat down. Two other young, cut men were already seated, waiting to audition (Mystere presumed).

Brent emerged from a back room. He was carrying a stack of white terry-cloth robes. Handing out the robes, he ushered Mystere and the young bucks into a dressing room. "Change into these robes", Brent instructed. "Your clothes will be waiting for you when you're done auditioning" Brent said. "Good luck!" he whispered into Mystere's ear.

"What the fu©k are you doing here?" one of the young bucks asked Mystere.

"I'm auditioning for the Gang Bang film", Mystere replied. The young buck laughed. Suddenly Mystere was unsure of what he was doing. His face turned a bright red. He entered the dressing room and quickly removed his clothing.

After they had donned the robes, Brent lead the three men into another room.

"I am the director of Gāy Gāng Bāng #6, Simon Buckmaster" the man said. He stroked his closely cropped graying beard. "Please remove your robes, gentlemen", Simon announced. The two young bucks got naked. Mystere, eyeing their buff bodies, hesitated.

"What's wrong, chubby?" the man next to him asked sarcastically.

"Brent tells me you describe yourself as the Asian Ron Jeremy", Simon said, addressing Mystere.

"Yes, sir!" Mystere replied.

"Let me see what you look like erect", Simon directed the two young bucks. "Brent, please fluff them". Brent compiled and soon the assets of the two young bucks were on full display. "Not you", Simon said disapprovingly, pointing to the young buck on the left.

The man, a dejected look on his face, put his robe back on and exited the room.

"You, please come closer", Simon commanded the remaining young buck. Grabbing hold of the young buck's member, Simon smiled. "Rock hard. And plenty large. You have the part". Simon congratulated the man.

"You may depart. Blanche has some paperwork for you to fill out after you get dressed". Simon waved his hand and the second young buck put his robe back on and left.

"Now for you", Simon said, frowning.

Mystere dropped his robe. "Ugh", Simon grunted. "Disgusting. It appears as though your gut obscures your manhood, if anything is there at all".

"It's right here", Mystere said, lifting his belly to reveal his package.

"Clearly you are not an Asian Ron Jeremy. Is this some kind of joke, Brent?" Simon looked like he might either laugh or possibly throw up. "Please explain".

"When I said I was an Asian Ron Jeremy, I meant I was fat and good at sex", Mystere stammered.

"He is extraordinarily talented at 0rally pleasuring the male organ", Brent interjected. "To that fact I can personally attest".

"OK", the director decided after contemplating the situation for awhile. "Let me see for myself".

He unzipped his fly and removed his johnson. Mystere dropped to his knees and went to work. Several minutes later Simon was 100% convinced that what Brent said was correct. "Oh, my God! you weren't kidding", Simon concluded.

Mystere smiled (after swallowing).

"Not so fast", Simon said after tucking his dong back into his pants and zipping up his fly.

"The fact remains that you are far too ugly to appear in my film. I am sorry, but I cannot give you a part". Simon sat down at his desk. "Now please leave".

"No!" Mystere cried, tears filling his eyes. Then he started to cry. "Please, I'll work for free", Mystere begged.

"Brent, why is your friend still here?" Simon demanded.

Mystere left, sobbing uncontrollably and feeling more disappointed than he had ever felt before in his life.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wym82. TF-9.

The Alpha Male Minus Quest For True Love Impeded By So Many Lying Whores!

"Hello, my name is Farmer John" Minus said, using one of his many aliases. "That is an odd name" the woman replied. Then she looked at him closer, scrutinizing the man beside her. "I know you" the woman said finally. "You're the guy who grabbed my breasts in Shorty's Southside Tavern last week".

Minus thought. "Yes" he admitted, remembering. "That was I. When I see a pair of double-Ds I can't help but grab them", Minus said complementing the woman. The lady looked shocked, but Minus knew she was loving the attention. "You're a waitress there, aren't you?" Minus asked. "No" the woman replied nervously. "I was having a drink with some co-workers".

She and this unknown man were walking alone together through a local park just before dusk. When she first noticed the man, other people were around, so she wasn't that concerned. Now it was starting to get dark and those people turned down another path a while back. But the man continued to walk behind her. Then he was beside her. He smiled and introduced himself.

"You live near here?" Minus inquired. "No" the woman answered, feeling a little fearful. "My boyfriend is waiting for me at the entrance of the park" the woman added, hoping that would scare Minus off. "Interesting" Minus replied, not buying what the woman told him. "Maybe we could go back to your place for a quickie" Minus inquired. The vibe he was getting from this woman told him she wanted him desperately.

The woman's eyes got wide, then she took off running, fearful she was about to be raped. "What's wrong, honey?" Minus shouted at the fleeing woman. "Ridiculous" Minus scoffed. "It seems this stupid ho has uncharitably categorized my pass as a prelude to a sexual assault". Minus continued on his way.

A while later he reached the edge of the park. Passing through the gates, the woman he had encountered earlier suddenly jumped in front of him. She had what looked like a spray can in her hand. She started spraying, but Minus quickly grabbed her wrist and deflected the stream away from his eyes (where she was aiming).

"You trying to mace me, bitch?" Minus growled. But Minus wasn't angry; he was amused. Minus had a tight grip on the woman's wrist. She struggled but couldn't get away. Minus began to laugh. "A pretty young thing like you out alone at night is just asking to get raped" Minus informed the woman.

Gaile (the woman) started screaming. "Shut up, slut" Minus commanded. He pulled her to him and placed his hand over her mouth, muffling her screams. Gaile bit down. Minus yelled and let her go. Gaile attempted to run away, but Minus grabbed hold of her purse. The purse strap snapped and Gaile stumbled back. Her feet slipped out from under her and she landed on her back, hard.

Minus put his hand to his mouth and sucked the blood out of the bite. "Shit!", that hurts Minus complained. "I should call the cops and report this assault" Minus snarled. Galie got to her feet shakily and stumbled a bit. Then she bolted, disappearing into the darkness. "Hey, you forgot your purse" Minus said as he watched the fleeing woman vanish. "Dumb bitch".

Minus opened the woman's purse and found her driver's license. "Gaile Trotter. I know where you live, Gaile Trotter. I might have to stop by Gaile's place to return her purse" Minus decided. "Despite her assault, I am a gentleman. She's going to need her driver's license and credit cards. I surely wouldn't want her to go through the hassle of having to replace them".

A few days later Minus, behind the wheel of his jet black Camaro with flames painted on the side, drove past Gaile Trotter's house. A small bungalow located on a side street not far from the park where he had first encountered her. Minus parked on a side street and proceeded to watch from a location where he had a good view of Gaile's property.

Inside the house Gaile was fixing herself dinner. Thinking of her encounter with Minus, she checked the lock on her front door. It was secure. How stupid she was to have walked through the park right before dark, Gaile berated herself. She had, of course, done it many times before. Although before it was always during the daytime. It just so happened that her place of employment was a few blocks from Shorty's, and she liked to hang out there with work friends.

She was pretty scared after she got away from the stranger. Gaile jogged to the edge of the park, then attempted to call the police, but found that her cell phone battery was dead. Seeing the man approaching, Gaile ducked behind one of the stone pillars that made up the arch that was the entrance to the park.

Removing the mace from her purse, Gaile intended to spay her would-be assailant in the face, then make her getaway. But he grabbed her wrist, then stole her purse. Gaile reported the incident to the police and filed a report, but they took it for a purse snatching and not an attempted rape. After she admitted she'd been drinking and was a little tipsy, it seems they didn't take her seriously.

Minus watched the house for several days, driving by after work and staying until the sun went down. That is how he deduced that Gaile lived alone. He also, after charging it up, examined her cell phone. It was password protected, but Minus booted it into safe mode to bypass the 3rd party lock screen. There was an entry that read Mom and Dad (an out-of-state number), plus the names of numerous female friends (Minus guessed). But no male names.

"Is she a lesbian?" Minus pondered. Perhaps what she needed was to meet a real man. That would cure her of her lesbianism. Minus knew he was just the man, an Alpha Male. She'd be grateful once he returned her purse. Naturally she'd have to find a way to thank him. Minus had that effect on women, the misunderstanding in the park being a shocking exception to how such encounters usually went down.

Minus was used to women throwing themselves at him. Given how good-looking and successful he was. He'd picked up quite a few women in bars around the city. All he had to do was flash a huge wad of cash and the next thing he knew he was getting a BJ in the bathroom. Then he'd quickly dump them, not wanting to take up permanently with some tramp who'd blow a guy in the bathroom of some seedy bar. He lived by the same credo as Brett Kavanaugh. FFFFF, or Find them, Feel them, Finger them, F*ck them, Forget them.

But he had a feeling that, this time, with Gaile, things would be different. Likely she was used to only beta males, which is why a strong alpha like Minus threw her off. Gaile was probably fantasizing about him right now (and touching herself), just as he was fantasizing about her (and doing the same). Minus was convinced that she could be the one. The one who would finally convince him to settle down and start a family.

Plus she apparently owned her own home, suggesting she was financially independent. Minus saw an entry for her place of employment in the phone. An investment banking firm. That would work for Minus, as he was tired of whores who were primarily interested in him because he was well off. Yes, he decided -- he was definitely interested in seeing if he could make this thing with Gaile work.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wtm-81. tf-8.

Mystere's Life Story. The Condensed Version

A 7 year old Mystere was playing with building blocks in the living room.

"That's good, son", Mystere's father said, beaming. "My son is going to be an architect", Mister Mystere decided. "Mother, beer me", Mystere's father yelled. Then he turned on the TV. "Game's on", Mystere Senior remarked throwing his weight into the barcalounger.

Mystere's mother emerged from the kitchen. "Here is your cold beer, darling".

"Thank you very much, my love", Mystere Sr said, slapping his wife on her rear.

"Oh, my!" Mrs Mystere squealed. "Now I've got to get back to the kitchen. We're having pot roast tonight".

Mister Mystere took a swig of his beer. Then he turned to look at his son. To his horror little Mystere was playing with a Barbie doll. "What the f*ck are you doing with your sister's doll, boy?" Mister Mystere demanded.

"It's my Barbie", little Mystere explained, a big smile on his face.

"No, son", Mister Mystere yelled. Jumping up from his chair Mystere Senior snatched the doll from his son's hands.

"Boys do not play with dolls", Mystere's father angrily reprimanded his progeny. "Not unless they're fags. And no son of my is going to be a fag".

Little Mystere started crying. "I want my Barbie!" Mystere blubbered. Tears ran down his cheeks.

Mister Mystere's face grew red. His hands started trembling with rage. He clenched his teeth in anger. Then he unbuckled and removed his belt. "Come here, Mystere", the father commanded.

Mystere, thinking he was going to get his doll back, approached his father with his hands out. "Barbie!" Mystere said, asking for the doll.

"NO, bad Mystere!" Mystere Senior swept up his son and put him over his knee. Quickly pulling down his britches, Mister Mystere gave his son several whacks with his belt. Mystere's ass turned a bright red. Little Mystere started balling.

"Wahhh, wahhh" Mystere cried.

Mister Mystere put his son down. Then he snapped the Barbie in half. Little Mystere pulled up his pants, ran to his room and buried his face in his pillow. Mister Mystere followed his son to his room. "I demand you stop your blubbering!"

But little Mystere continued crying.

Then Mystere Senior sexually molested his son. "I am so embarrassed. I shouldn't be doing this", Mister Mystere told himself. Yet he couldn't stop. "This is your fault", Mystere's father said when he finished. "You will never tell your mother about this!"

Mister Mystere hitched up his slacks and left his son's room. Little Mystere sobbed as he thought about how much his throat hurt and his butthole throbbed.

"Mom, I think I'm attracted to boys, not girls", a teenage Mystere remarked one day while helping his mother in the kitchen.

His mother dropped the plate she was carrying. It hit the floor and smashed into a million pieces. His mother let out a shriek. "Oh, my G0d!" Mrs Mystere cried. Then she fell to her knees and started sobbing. "My son is going to Hell", Mrs Mystere cried, her voice quivering.

What have I done, Mystere asked himself. "I'm sorry mom, it was a joke".

"Homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord", Mystere's mother said, scolding her son. Then she slapped him across the face.

"I'm sorry, mom", Mystere assured his mother. Tears welled up in his eyes. That slap really hurt! He helped his mother to her feet. "I'm straight, I swear" Mystere lied. Mystere and his mother sat at the kitchen table and read the Bible.

"I am so worried that you will burn in Hell", Mystere's mother told her son. What she didn't know was that Mystere had lain with a man as a man lies with a woman. It happened earlier that year, shortly after he turned 16.

"This is so wrong, Chad", Mystere told the boy lying on the bed next to him.

Both Mystere and Chad were naked, having just made love. Chad turned to face Mystere. He kissed Mystere full on the lips, inserting a little tongue. "Is your dad still sexually molesting you?" Chad asked.

"Of course not. It was just the one time when I was 7", Mystere replied. "And then a few dozen times after than. Off and on for a few years until I was 14. Then it seems he lost interest". Mystere's voice trailed off. It almost seemed to Chad that Mystere was disappointed that the molestation ended.

Mystere rose from the bed and quickly dressed. First he put on his bra and panties, followed by a shirt and his jeans.

"Is that your sister's underwear?" Chad asked. He knew it was. Mystere stole them from her dresser drawer. Wearing women's underwear made him feel sexy and confident.

"I can't see you again, Chad", Mystere said as he finished dressing.

"Let me guess why" Chad replied. "Is it because you aren't a f@g?"

"That's right" Mystere replied. "I'm not gay, I'm a sinner".

"Please forgive me, God" Mystere whispered to himself. Then he left. Although he and Chad hooked up many times after that.

Two years years later Chad dumped him when he went away to college. Mystere was heartbroken. Also angry. If he wasn't gay why did it feel like he couldn't go on without Chad in his life? He was such a gentle and attentive lover.

Now what was Mystere going to do? He found himself wandering down to the bus station many nights. There he discovered he could pay homeless men for oЯal sex. The dirty hobo accepted the 10 dollar bill and reached for Mystere's pants zipper. Mystere slapped his hand away. "I want you to drop your drawers", Mystere sheepishly explained.

"Whatever" the bum replied. Then the bum unzipped his jeans and let them fall, along with his underwear.

Mystere became well known at the bus station. The one near his home and others for miles around. Mystere got a job at a local radio station running errands for the staff. In the evenings he rode for hours, stopping at various bus stations where he paid dozens of men for sex.

"What am I doing?" Mystere asked himself. He was so ashamed. Luckily he did not contract AIDS. Something he discovered after getting tested at a local clinic. It turned out he had a common STD that was curable after taking meds for a few weeks.

After that Mystere buckled down and put his nose to the grindstone. He cut together commercials at the radio station where he worked. His boss seemed satisfied with his work. Or so Mystere thought. Until the boss man called him into his office one afternoon.

"Your work really stinks, Mystere", the boss said. "I have heard, however, that you are really good at giving BJs". Mystere obliged his boss and kept his job. Although the boss brought in an assistant who did most of the work.

That's how Mystere became his boss's boy toy. Bob (his boss) was 56 and Mystere was just 21.

"I'm not gay", Bob told Mystere every time.

"Thats OK, I'm not gay either", Mystere assured his boss. This went on for several years. Mystere stopped riding busses and blowing homeless men. His boss insisted. Bob was quite angry when he found out and gave Mystere a beating he never forgot.

Mystere's boss was really happy with the work the assistant was doing so he decided to give Mystere a raise. Mystere moved out of his parent's house and into an apartment.

"When are you going to find a nice girl and get married?" his mother asked.

Mystere's boss decided to give him a shot as the sports reporter. Being a big fan of the WWE Mystere jumped at the chance when the boss said an interview with the wrestler Rikishi would be his first assignment. Rikishi was putting on a performance at the Staples Center one night and Mystere arranged an exclusive interview in the locker room.

Mystere was nervous but he thought it went fairly well. The sound man packed up the equipment and indicated to Mystere that it was time to depart.

"I'll take the bus home", Mystere told him. His co-worker shrugged his shoulders and drove off. Mystere wandered back into the locker room. Steam poured from the showers. Peeking inside, Mystere spotted a nude Rikishi lathering up. He was entranced.

"You like what you see?" Rikishi asked as he continued stroking his enormous d0ng.

"I'm sorry", Mystere stammered.

"It's OK", Rikishi replied. "Why don't you get undressed and join me?" the wrestler asked, to Mystere's amazement.

Mystere quickly shed his clothing and joined Rikishi in the shower. They embraced and started kissing. Then Rikishi pushed down on the top of Mystere's head, forcing him to his knees. "Wow, you are really good at that", Rikishi remarked after Mystere finished.

"for a straight man, I suppose so", Mystere replied.

"Yeah, I'm straight too" Rikishi insisted. "That's the first time I've ever done anything like that".

After dating for a few months Rikishi paid Mystere's landlord so he could get out of his lease and they moved in together. Mystere kept his job for awhile, but his boss was not happy when Mystere told him he wanted to break off their relationship.

"There is no reason for me to keep you on if that is the case", Bob informed Mystere.

But that quickly changed after Rikishi threatened to beat Bob senseless. Mystere was relieved. He had planned to tell Bob's wife about what was going on, but as it turned out, Bob was getting divorced.

"That skank was sleeping around on me. And now my Mystere is dumping me!" Bob wept.

A few years passed. Mystere continued to collect a paycheck, even after he decided he was going to stay home from now on.

Eventually Mystere found out he was being fired. One day Mystere was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and getting high smoking weed when the phone rang.

"This is your new boss", a voice on the other end informed Mystere. "You're fired".

"What!" Mystere exclaimed, shocked. "Bob blew his brains out last week. I was going over the payroll and found your name. Everyone here says you haven't shown up to work in months".

And so Mystere became a househusband. After Rikishi proposed and he accepted.

"It's just a legal agreement between two bros", Rikishi insisted as he slipped the ring on Mystere's finger. "This certainly doesn't make us f@gs".

"OK", Mystere agreed. If it meant he could get high and watch TV all day he was for it. Plus the sex was fantastic! Given that Rikishi was hung like a horse.


Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wym080. TF-7.

Mystere (An Extremely Low IQ Imbecile) Writes Another Fake Comment & Blames It On Me

I can't say for sure that Mystere wrote this comment, but, given how stupid it is, I think it's a good guess he authored it. Why? I know he wants revenge for 4 of his 5 WordPress blogs getting shut down. Maybe he thinks writing fake comments and saying I sent them to his "Cleveland Foxers" blog will get me trouble... somehow?

Saturday, September 22, 2018. Dervish's Latest Faked Retort To Cleveland Foxers. From: Dervish This Irl Rat Pookie One Sanders Hudnutt Trapper. Fake email address: DFDFAD@DFAFAD.COM. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! LITTLE ***** KEEPS BLAMING OTHER FOR THE THINGS I DO!!! AND HE STILL HAS NO CLUE AS TO WHO I REALLY AMMMMM!!!! IT'S SUCH FUN TO GREASE THE SKIDS FOR YOUR TRIP TO hell, *****!!!! WATCHING YOU BURN IN hell WILL BE SUCH FUN!!! REPENT, *****, REPENT!!! THE SERPENT IS COMING FOR YOU TO COLLECT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE SOUL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dervish tries another one of his braindead Wile E Coyote moves in hopes of a Wordpress TOS violation that will cause Cleveland Foxers to get deleted. The 0 IQ mental midget keeps failing. Keep sinning, Dervish. That way, on the day you croak, you will face the sheer terror of your life when you have to answer to God Almighty for spewing your hate for everyone to see. In the meantime, keep eating coq. Apparently, you love having your mouth stuffed full of coq, Colonel Dervish Sanders! Posted by mystere's moonbat slayer club at 10:14 AM.

Why would a comment submitted by someone not using a Gravatar account cause a TOS violation? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. Given the fact that Mystere enabled this option. I'm guessing. I'm not familiar with what options are available for handling WordPress comments. I assume that if Mystere doesn't want people entering names and fake email addresses, he can stop it. If he chooses to.

So, if Mystere decides to accept comments from people not using a Gravatar account? Then I say he doesn't get to complain about people using that option. If you don't want such comments then don't allow them, Mystere! Given that you have decided you WANT such comments (you selected this option under the WordPress dashboard) such comments could not trigger a TOS violation. Or, I don't see how they possibly could.

Mystere says I'm using "braindead Wile E Coyote moves in hopes of a Wordpress TOS violation that will cause Cleveland Foxers to get deleted"... but he is the one who is braindead. This theory of his makes no sense. Given that he controls what kind of comments his blog will accept. How the HELL would a type of comment HE HAS DECIDED to accept trigger a TOS violation?

Anyway, I suspect this will continue. Mystere will continue posting idiotic comments (authored by him or possibly someone else) and blaming me. Mystere is greasing his own skids for his trip to Hell. I have nothing to do AT ALL with that. And I don't want to watch him burn in Hell. Wouldn't that imply I was there? Or are there TVs in heaven via which people who are there can tune in to watch and laugh at damned souls?

I did not write the comment so I wouldn't know. I don't want Mystere to burn in Hell. I want him to turn away from evil. Looking at his "Moonbat Spanker" blog, however, that seems unlikely. He writes posts discussing the false prophet Mark Taylor and his false prophecies concerning Donald Trump. Donald Trump was NOT chosen by God, Mystere. Donald Trump is evil.

And YOU are the one who spews hate. As I pointed out in a prior commentary. I have no worries whatsoever about answering to God for my hate because I'm not a hater. Pointing out the hate of others is not "spewing hate". Nobody has ever seen me "spew hate" because this isn't something I do. Perhaps you could say that I spew hate in regards to Donald Trump. But he deserves it.

If Mystere continues to follow Trump he may end up in Hell. But I'm not greasing any skids and will feel no joy AT ALL if this happens to Mystere. So Mystere can stop blaming these comments on me. Unless he wrote them. Obviously then he will continue to blame me.

Whether or not "Cleveland Foxers" is suspended or shut down is 100% up to Automattic (the company that owns WordPress). I reported you because you are harassing me. Specifically you said you were going to cause me to lose my Gravatar account. I would prefer to keep my Gravatar account. So I decided to proactively contact them. As opposed to waiting to see what might happen. Although they have yet to respond. I will have to contact them again. I'd rather you simply drop this bullshit regarding comments you don't like and your false accusations concerning me sending them. It's ridiculous.

Finally... Regarding me having an IQ of zero...

What does an IQ of 0 mean?: It is improbable for a human to have an IQ of less than 50 without some serious accompanying defects and abnormalities and improbable for a human to have an IQ of less than 20 without profound medical issues that would cause very low life expectancy. (Excerpted from a response to a question on Quora authored by Jesse Roberge).

Obviously neither I nor Mystere have an IQ of zero. I don't know what Mystere's IQ is. I do think it is easy to deduce (from his writings on Blogger) that Mystere's IQ is most certainly NOT high and very likely lower than average. Possibly a LOT lower.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-79.

WYD trumpers Predictably Attack Brett Kavanaugh Accuser, Christine Blasey Ford

"Let her say what she has to say. And let's see how it all comes out. But they've delayed it a week, and they have to get on with it" is what the predisent said in response to prompting from Sean Hannity. "You've been very accommodating" the ass-kissing toady said, agreeing with the Orange-skinned misogynist.

What Hannity and tRump were talking about was the accusations of attempted rape against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh. That this nominee be rushed though the process is what the Right is stressing. Also the fact that Dr. Ford can't remember specific details. That is the tact Lisa of the trumper blog Who's Your Daddy employs. By posting comments she attributes to "Ken Sisco", whoever that is (I did a Google search on "selective memory has it's advantages" and "Ken Sisco" and got nothing).

SELECTIVE MEMORY HAS ITS ADVANTAGES. If Dr. Ford could remember a specific date or year, Judge Kavanaugh might be able to show that he was nowhere near the incident described. When the fraudulent accusations were made in the Duke Lacrosse debacle, one of the three men accused, proved by a video that when the incident occurred, he was at an ATM machine a mile away. Same is true of location. (posted by Lisa to WYD on 9/20/2018 at 6:40am under the title "Same Story, Different Names").

First, to address the "selective memory" bit. The author is clearly implying he believes Dr. Ford is lying. However, that details of traumatic events like sexual assault can't remembered extraneous details is actually very common.

Jodi J. De Luca PhD, explains [that] "When a person is faced with a dangerous or threatening situation, their attention becomes narrowly focused on the danger at hand". ... So when survivors can't remember every aspect of the trauma later, that isn't the result of negligence or absent-mindedness—instead, certain aspects of the trauma simply weren't encoded into the survivor's memory because they were experiencing real and present danger. "This can help explain why a survivor may recall vividly certain details of the trauma while being unable to recall other details of the event"... (Trauma Survivors Often Forget Important Details of Their Assaults. Here's Why. 1/17/2018 Greatist article by Alexis Dent).

As for what happened in the Duke Lacrosse case, Dr. Ford's accusations are not comparable. Crystal Gail Mangum, the accuser in that case, lied. Her story fell apart and those she accused were cleared of any wrongdoing. Christine Blasey Ford is telling the truth. The different name that could be subbed into this story is Anita Hill. Professor Anita Hill's story has never been disproven.

Another corollary between Ford and Hill is the coordinated Right-wing character assassination. Anita Hill was painted as "a little bit slutty, a little bit nutty". In regards to Ford, The Republican senator from Utah, Orrin Hatch, says she is "mixed up". Also "if that were true [the accusations], I think it would be hard for Senators not to consider who he is today". Nice. She's making it up. Although, if she isn't, it doesn't matter.

Clearly the plan is to steamroll Dr. Ford if she shows up. They want to keep this a "he said, she said" so it's Kavanaugh's word versus Dr. Ford's word. She's lying or mixed up. It doesn't matter anyway because it was so long ago. Also, they don't want the FBI to investigate because it would be pointless.

Liberal Hunter: Okay, so let's have an FBI investigation to satisfy The Accuser... Where did this take place? I don't know. What day was this? I don't know. What month did this take place? I don't know. What year did this take place? I don't know. Okay genius, now tell me WTF are the FBI supposed to investigate? (9/20/2018 at 11:29am). Excerpted from a WYD comment.

Obviously this moron "Liberal Hunter" thinks the FBI would start the investigation, find that Dr. Ford couldn't remember certain details, then determine there was nothing for them to go on and therefore they couldn't proceed. Except they could find other people who had been there (by looking at student enrollment records) and question them. And likely find (via exhaustive legwork) at least a few other people who had been at the party and could remember those details.

Just because "Liberal Hunter" is too stupid to figure out how the FBI would proceed doesn't mean the FBI wouldn't be able to find other people to corroborate Dr. Ford's story. Or to not corroborate if (in the highly unlikely event) Kavanaugh is innocent and Dr. Ford is "mixed up" or lying.

They don't want the FBI to investigate for a reason. By "they" I mean the Orange Turd and all the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee. As well as the subservient ass-kissing state media (Fox, etc) and (taking their cues from these sources) the brainwashed zombie Orange Turd cultists. People like the trumpers who comment on WYD.

The reason they don't want an investigation is because "only 2-8% of rapes are falsely reported, the same percentage as for other felonies". Their intention is to push through Brett Kavanaugh and get him on the Supreme Court, facts be damned! Brett needs to get to work ASAP protecting the wealthy and corporations. As well as taking away rights from minorities and women. Because imposing the will of a minority is more important than one woman getting sexually assaulted (that minority being pseudo Christian evilvangelicals and Ayn Rand types who believe the US should be ruled by an aristocracy).

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg came out that she was groped by Abraham Lincoln" Rep Ralph Norman (SC 5th district) joked recently. It's funny because RBG is an ugly old hag who should hurry up and die. That women are a threat to legitimate male power (as per FrancoThinke) is a "fact" that even Right-wing women (such as Lisa) agree with. The problem is feminazis and absolutely not toxic masculinity.

If Hillary Clinton had won the election and been inaugurated (she won but was not inaugurated) and President HRC nominated a man for the Supreme Court who was accused of sexual assault? You KNOW Republican hypocrites would absolutely believe the accuser and DEMAND an FBI investigation and hearings that were more than political theater.

Scratch that. The actual suggested course of action of Republicans prior to the election was that, if Hillary Clinton should win, they would deline to hold hearings to replace Antonin Scalia for HRC's ENTIRE 4 year term!

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-78.

More Delusions From Mystere, A Low IQ Imbecilic Trumper Who Clearly Has Some Serious Mental Problems

Mystere, a delusional trumper who has a history of screwing with other bloggers and (in the process) getting in trouble for TOS violations, has posted more nonsense (about me) on his "Cleveland Foxers" WordPress blog.

An Open Letter To Libturd Dervish Sanders. Posted on September 20, 2018 by myfoxmystere Hey Dervish: YOU LOST! You falsely accused me of hacking into your account again. This time, I showed them evidence of YOU faking getting hacked. YOU got in touch with some others to fake getting hacked. It didn't work.

This is a lie. I did not accuse Mystere of hacking into my Gravatar account AGAIN. I truthfully accused him once. And it would be IMPOSSIBLE for him to show evidence of "faking getting hacked" because no such evidence exists. Because this did not happen. I never "got in touch with some others to fake getting hacked".

Mystere lies. Or his mentally diseased brain dreamt up this delusion to explain why I'm the bad guy. Despite Automattic deciding I was telling the truth. My account was hacked and Automattic (the company that owns Gravatar and WordPress) decided to remove myfoxmystere's WordPress blogs due to TOS violations. I assume (although they did not tell me) that they determined that Mystere DID hack my account.

Mystere, a extremely low-IQ imbecile, thinks Automattic would suspend a person's blog because someone lied about their account being hacked? They don't have people working for them that are smarter than to fall for such lies (re Mystere's delusions that I "faked getting hacked")?

By the way, while I could say "YOU LOST" to Mystere, given the fact that he lost his blogs, I have never viewed it that way. I reported the violation and left it to Automattic to decide what they would do with that information. I did not expect that they would suspend multiple WordPress blogs belonging to Mystere (as it turns out he lost even more blogs than I knew he had at the time).

What happened was that I noticed comments made with my account (clearly indicating a hack or some other trickery) and reported it. I also noted that I suspected Mystere because one of the fake comments showed up as being made with my account, but had Mystere's avatar attached to it.

I linked to the page (that the above image is a screenshot of) as my proof that the hacker was Mystere. In addition to sending Automattic the links to all of his fake comments.

WordPress uses something they call a "hovercard". If you hover over a user's avatar, a short description of the user is displayed. The first image (above) shows a comment that was supposedly made by me. But with Mystere's avatar attached to it. The second image (above) shows what happened when I hovered over the avatar. Which is that Mystere's hovercard is displayed. And NO, I did not dummy up this image in Photoshop! I created this screenshot so I could post it on my blog. I sent Automattic links so they could see the fake comments for themselves.

PROOF that Mystere faked comments from me on his blog. And the reason (I assume) that his WordPress blogs were suspended. So you can STFU, Mystere! I have proof, you only have your delusions. Why Mystere says I lost I have no idea. I checked his WordPress blogs and they are still suspended. If he had convinced Automattic that they should be reinstated that could be a reason for him to say I "lost". But 4 of his 5 WordPress blogs (see my sidebar) are still suspended.

I do not have a WordPress blog, but I do have a Gravatar account. Mystere says he reported me and that, as a result of my TOS violations, I will lose this account (I assume he believes).

Mystere: ...now I'm going to report you to Wordpress with the evidence in the email I got from them. Dumb move, Dervy boy! (9/14/2018 at 2:08 PM) WYM comment.

But my Gravatar account has not been suspended. If it was that could be a reason for him to say I lost. But (so far) it has not been. The "dumb move" was what you did, Mystere. You reported me... for what? I did not do what you accuse me of. Therefore there is no evidence to support your bullshit accusations. The only reason you are doing this is to try and get Automattic to suspend my Gravatar account.

Mystere: I haven't spoken with WORDPRESS yet. I have no idea who hacked your account, Fartbreath. I'll make sure your accounts get wiped out when I settle this. You messed with me and I have allies who will back me up. (5/15/2018 at 2:26am). WYD comment.

I did not forget Mystere's threat. He wrote, "I'll make sure your accounts get wiped out when I settle this". Mystere did not settle this (get his WordPress blogs back). But he is TRYING to follow through on his threat. I still have my Gravatar account, Mystere (the only account I have with Automattic that could be "wiped out"). Yet Mystere thinks that I've lost??

For the record, when I refer to Mystere having a HISTORY of getting in trouble for TOS violations, I refer to him losing his WordPress blogs, as well as the loss of a sockpuppet he called "Porky's Big Payback". I don't know the whole story, only that "Porky [was] booted from Google over some bogus accusation a few years ago". I assume that by "bogus" Mystere means GENUINE (this info via a 9/12/2017 "Rattrapper" WYD comment). I would not be surprised AT ALL to find out that Mystere has lost other blogs and sockpuppets due to TOS violations.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-077.

A Description Of Donald Trump's Penis For Mystere To Slobber Over

Note that I have no problem whatsoever with the fact that Mystere is gay. My problem is that he is a hypocrite about it. As a trump Conservative who views himself as "Christian", Mystere is convinced that God hates the same people he hates (Muslims, gay and trans people, illegal aliens, Black Democrats, Democratic women, Liberals, never-trump republicans, anyone who is pro-choice, anyone paying attention who realizes how awful DJT is, etc... I'm sure the list goes on and on).

Mystere: Derwood claims he's a Christian, but supports everything vile in God's eyes. The snake worshipper Dervish Sanders backs Muslims and other anti Christian groups, calling those who call him out racists, hate mongers and homophobes. Dervish's Metropolitian Church buttboys troll alongside with him at Rational Nation USA, The Swoosh Zone and Shaw Kenawe's blog known as Boston Piggy's. (6/24/2017 at 10:14pm. Excerpted from a "Funny Misadventures of a Troll" blog post).

Mystere absolutely is a homophobe. Also (as is often the case with hate mongering republicans) a closeted gay man. A hypocrite who takes out the hate he feels for himself on other gay people. Although these would be gay people who are not ashamed to be as God made them.

Anyway, it looks like Stormy Daniels is coming out with a book. A memoir that includes a recounting of her sexual encounter with the gross Orange Turd. Mystere, a devoted brainwashed member of the Orange Turd Cult, kneels down and worships at the feet of his Orange Turd leader. No doubt while admiring the ugly Orange Turd for (in Mystere's mind) his chiseled good looks and manly physique *shudder* (an "alpha male" according to Minus FJ).

Given this likely reality, I thought I'd be a mensch and post an excerpt from a Yahoo news article I recently stumbled across. What follows is a description of the Orange Turd's member from Stormy Daniels' book. A description that could quite likely have a lust-filled Mystere slobbering and drooling in short order.

Daniels, in her book, describes Trump's penis as "unusual" and with a "huge mushroom head, like a toadstool". She also says it was "smaller than average" but "not freakishly small", according to The Guardian. She also reportedly describes sex with Trump: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion" (Link).

The only part of this story that will probably disappoint Mystere is that it describes Trump having sex... with a woman. Something Mystere might be grossed out by. Although most of this excerpt has to do with the description of the Orange Turd's member. Which could get the pervert Mystere pretty excited. And possibly engorged.

Unless he dismisses it as "fake news". Because surely Trump's penis is impressive and not deformed and small as Daniels describes it. Perhaps, if Mystere reads this post, he'll let us know which it is. On the other hand, everyone can see Trump's unusual orange skin (what is not covered up by clothing). Obviously Trump believes orange skin is a good look. So a deformed toadstool penis might be desirable (to Mystere) as well.

My strong suspicion is that is. By which I mean Mystere will beat his meat (and produce some white gravy) while reading the description of Trump's junk. And lustfully long to see it for himself. In order to confirm that it is as awesome as Stormy says. I suspect Mystere will lie, however. And say that he has no interest at all in Donald Trump's penis.

Being straight, I have no clue; I have heard, however, that people are happier when they acknowledge the truth about themselves. Time to come out of the closet, Mystere. You will be much happier if you do (I suspect). He might decide to kill himself, however. If he is incapable of accepting the fact that he is attracted to men. In which case it might be better for him to stay in the closet.

Image: An orange toadstool that might closely resemble Donald Trump's penis. Although clearly much larger.


Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wym076.

Mystere Blows A Gift Horse

"I have been lying low for awhile, but I have returned" Pookie Toot Toot told Mystere. Pookie the pooka often appeared to Mystere after a few tokes from his bong.

"I've missed you, my friend. But why did you go into hiding?" Mystere inquired. He was relieved to see his mythical acquaintance, an 8 foot tall humanoid with the head of a fish. He had been worried something had happened to him. "I was traveling the outer planes" Pookie explained. "It was quite the adventure. I encountered an avatar of Baal and only narrowly escaped with my life".

"Wow" Mystere remarked. "Baal is the God that asswipe Dervy worships. At least that is what my buttboi Don Key told me". Pookie looked annoyed. He did not know who either of these people were, nor did he care.

"My wounds were great. It took me a long time to recover. That is why I haven't been able to visit you" Pookie continued, attempting to steer the conversation back to HIM. Mystere thought on what his friend told him, then he said "I scarfed a lot -- and I mean a LOT -- of shrooms last weekend in the hopes you would show up, but you didn't. Now I know why".

"See this" Pookie said, holding up his left fin. An angry red scar ran horizontally across the appendage oozed pus. "Not yet fully healed. Baal just about ripped it off" Pookie said, wincing. Then he farted. Loudly. A stink cloud with the aroma of digested seaweed and feces enveloped the two. "That smells fantastic!" Mystere (an eproctophile) exclaimed, drinking in the fragrant toot.

Just then Mystere heard the front door open. A short while later a burly heavyset man entered the living room. "I thought I would find you here" Rikishi grumbled disapprovingly. "Getting high, as usual". Rikishi's nose wrinkled up. "It smells like fish farts in here" the wrestler said, sniffing the air. "Not bad" he decided. "You had sushi for dinner?".

"No, my friend Pookie is here", Mystere explained, pointing to where the very tall fish man stood, dripping slime onto the carpet. Rikishi looked where his husband pointed, but saw no one. "After a long day of wrestling I am far too tired for sex. I am going straight to sleep" Rikishi announced. "I do, however, expect breakfast in bed. 6:30am sharp! Followed by my morning BJ". Rikishi turned and left.

"He didn't even acknowledge your presence" Mystere said. "How rude". Then, thinking of the morning BJ, licked his lips. He was really looking forward to that. "That's OK", Pookie replied. "It often takes an altered conscious to perceive me". "Yeah, I guess he couldn't see you" Mystere deduced, taking another hit from his bong. He opened his mouth and several puffs of smoke escaped his lips. Mystere giggled.

The room started spinning and he passed out. Mystere drifted off and soon entered REM sleep. A large stallion trotted through a field of daisies and clover. Seeing Mystere, the stallion approached him. Then it turned, lifted it's leg, and took a long hot piss.



Steam rose from the urine-soaked earth. Mystere breathed the fumes in deeply. When the steam dissipated Mystere noted with amazement the size of the stallion's member. "Magnificent!" Mystere marveled. "I'd really like to get my hands AND mouth on it" Mystere declared, his voice filled with lustful desire. "You are in luck", Farmer Jones replied, approaching from behind Mystere.

Mystere turned to face the owner of this fine animal, Farmer Jones. "I will allow you to do with my stallion whatever you wish. Consider it my gift to you", Farmer Jones informed Mystere. "This stallion, I can attest, is an excellent blow horse who will soon fill your mouth with copious amounts of white gravy".

Mystere licked his lips in anticipation. Suddenly (just as it was about to get good) he was rudely awakened from his dream by the incredible sensation of a rough tongue licking his butthole. "I didn't think you'd mind", Pookie insisted. An incredibly long forked tongue slowly retracted, accompanied by a loud slurping noise. "Not at all", Mystere replied, the dream fading from his memory. "You can do that some more if you'd like".

"No, I'm good", Pookie said. "I've got to be going, in any case". Before Mystere could say anything, Pookie Toot Toot began to fade away, transitioning to the ethereal plane. This was an innate ability of his kind, as Mystere understood it. Standing, Mystere took a step and tripped and fell because his pants and (My Little Pony) undies were down around his ankles.

"Oof", Mystere cried as he went down. He tried to push himself up, but his hands slipped in a puddle of fish slime. Mystere went down again, smacking his head on the living room floor. "F*ck!" Mystere muttered, sitting up. "Hey, this isn't slime, it's my poop", Mystere said, licking his hand. Or maybe it belonged to his dog, Buttstink. He was housebroken, although Mystere rarely let him out to do his business, so he just pooped (and peed) wherever.

Looking out the window, Mystere noticed a full moon. Light from the glowing satellite filled the room. The clock read 12:20am. Mystere placed his hands on the coffee table and pushed himself to his feet. Pulling up his undies and slacks, Mystere noted with alarm that his 3 baggies of marijuana, along with his bong, were missing. He was certain they had been on the coffee table earlier in the evening.

"Damn!" Mystere screamed. Pookie must have swiped them. This wouldn't be the first time either. Mystere fumed. He had used the remainder of his weekly allowance to buy that pot. Now he was going to have to go 2 whole days before he could get high again!

Mystere yawned. Time for bed, he decided. Making his way to the bedroom, Mystere slipped in between the sheets next to his slumbering husband. Rikishi snored loudly. Remembering the dream, Mystere donned his noise canceling headphones and placed his head on the cool pillow, hopeful he would soon be back with the magnificent stallion, bobbing down below with ferocity as the powerful stud bucked and neighed in ecstasy.

Note: This post was written in response to a 9/14/2018 Mystere post titled "Dervish Blows His 1 Gift Horse", but that blog has since been removed by g00gle for a TOS infraction. I'm guessing that it was reported by Mystere's friend, Irl Hudnutt.

See also the 5/27/2024 post, ed end0 Huffs Horse Farts. This is a bl0g I created after Mystere started attacking my bl0gs, resulting in several of them being locked temporarily, including this one.

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. wym075.