Mystere Whistles For Minus Man Meat

Minus walked into the bar, thirsty for a cold one after a long flight. To his surprise he saw, sitting there, someone he knew. "Hello, Mystere", Minus said. Shocked to hear the name he used on the internet, Mystere turned. "Who the hell are you?" Mystere demanded. "They call me Minus, but my real fake name is Dash Farmer John", Minus replied. "I know someone who goes by that name, but I have no idea what he looks like" a confused Mystere retorted.

"How is it that you recognize me?" Mystere inquired. "From your picture on the blog of Dervish Sanders" Minus explained. "Oh, right. That asshole" Mystere disgustedly responded. "Nice to meet you, Dash" Mystere said, extending his hand. The two men shook hands. "You want to buy me a beer?". "OK" Minus agreed. "Two beers" Minus barked at the bartender.

Minus sat down on a stool and, after the barkeep placed it in front of him, chugged his beer. "Another" Minus demanded before the bartender could leave. "Coming right up" the bartender replied, drawing another frosty draft from the spigot. "So, you come here often?" Minus inquired. "Only when I want to pick up chicks. So... every day" Mystere said.

Minus looked around. To his consternation he saw no women. "Where the women at?" Minus wondered. "This is a gay bar" the barkeep informed the two. A shocked look appeared on Mystere's face. "I had no idea!" he lied. Scanning the room, Minus noticed several men close dancing. "Ugh" Minus grunted. "Homos. How disgusting".

"Perhaps we should get out of here", Mystere suggested. "You and I, together?" Minus asked. "Sure, why not? I have some imported golden ales back at my place" Mystere answered, hoping the lure of some expensive beers would seal the deal. Was he about to get lucky? "I guess so" Minus agreed. "You have a car? I got here in a taxi".

Soon the two studs were on the highway, zipping along at a high rate of speed, drunk driving in Mystere's vehicle, a pink Chevy he called the Pinkie Toot Toot. "5301 Delong Street in Cypress isn't far from here" Mystere said, referring to his home address. "We should be at my place in no time".

Pulling off the highway, tires squealing, Mystere took several turns, eventually pulling into a driveway. "Well, here we are" Mystere announced. Getting no reply, Mystere turned and noticed that his passenger was fast asleep. Smiling, Mystere grabbed for his passenger's crotch and began rubbing. Minus, still fast asleep, started moaning.

"What the f*ck are you doing!" Minus exclaimed, waking suddenly. "Hey, it's just a joke" an embarrassed Mystere explained. "You're not a homo, are you?" Minus mumbled. "I'm so tired. I think I've got jet lag". "I'm not gay" Mystere protested. "Homosexuality is vile in God's eyes". "One man doing another man up the dumper is vile, I'll agree with you on that" Minus concurred. "I've heard rumors on the internet about you. It is good to confirm that they aren't true".

Still, Minus looked unconvinced. So Mystere decided to tell a lie he'd concocted ahead of time. "My girlfriend, a Hooters waitress, is really into 3-ways. Mostly the 2 girls and one guy variety. But she's been begging me for awhile to participate in a 3-way with another guy. I have to admit that I, when I encountered you in the bar, decided to bring you home as a surprise".

"A Hooters waitress, you say" Minus said, looking intrigued. "I think I may be into that. So long as it's me and her and you only watch". Mystere shook his head yes. "Sure. I like to watch" Mystere quickly agreed. Minus stumbled inside, collapsing into an armchair. "Here is one of the golden ales I promised" Mystere said, removing a brown bottle from a mini-fridge next to the living room couch. "Thanks" Minus said, popping the cap and downing it in one swig. "Delicious. Now, where is that girlfriend? She's got big jugs, yes?".

"The biggest" Mystere assured the highly intoxicated Minus. "Just let me send her a text and she should be right over" Mystere fibbed, pretending to send a text on his phone. "Cool" Minus replied. Then he dozed off. Mystere, grinning broadly, went to his knees and crept up between the unconscious man's legs. "Does your trouser snake want to come out and play?" Mystere inquired of a bulge that grew larger as he rubbed it.

Time passed as Minus slumbered. In his dream a well endowed blonde Hooters girl was orally pleasuring his member. "That feels fantastic!" Minus moaned in ecstasy. Then she began deep throating his man meat and it wasn't long before Minus exploded. At which point Minus woke. Looking down he saw Mystere between his splayed legs. His zipper was open and his weenie was fully exposed.

"Did you just rape me with your mouth!" an angry Minus roared. Mystere swallowed. "No way" Mystere obfuscated, licking his lips. "Then what the f*ck happened?" Minus demanded. "My girlfriend was blowing you, but she suddenly had to poop really bad and ran to the bathroom". "Is that right?". Minus stood and zipped up his pants. "My God, that was the most intense orgasm I have ever experienced".

Minus fell silent. Uncomfortably they waited. "What are we waiting for?" Mystere asked after awhile. "Your girlfriend to return. I'd like another BJ while awake" Minus explained. They waited awhile longer. "What's taking so long?" Minus eventually asked. "I have no idea" Mystere insisted. "Where is the bathroom?" Minus asked. "Right there" Mystere said, pointing to a door across a hallway adjacent to the living room.

Minus knocked on the door. "You coming out of there, babe?" he asked. No reply. He knocked again, this time harder. Then he tried the handle. The door opened. Looking inside Minus saw a sink, a shower and a toilet. But no one was there. "Nobody's in here" Minus concluded. Mystere joined Minus in the bathroom. "I guess she crawled out the window" Mystere said.

"Why the hell would she do that?" Minus said, not believing Mystere's story. "I think it was YOU who blew me" Minus said, poking Mystere in the chest with his finger. Minus found his head was pounding. A consequence of the jet lag and drinking too much, he guessed. Minus lifted the lid of the toilet and barfed. "I should kill you, you disgusting homo" Minus groaned as he went to his knees and barfed again.

"I am NOT a homo", Mystere whined. "Then where is your girlfriend?" Minus said, shouting. he was really angry, but he was also still aroused. That BJ had felt SO good! He grabbed Mystere and forced him to his knees. "If it was your girlfriend who blew me, then a blowjob from you should feel completely different" he said, unzipping his pants and removing Mr. Happy.

Mystere couldn't believe it. This night could not be going better! Before he realized what he was doing, the johnson of Minus slipped between his lips and down his throat. Minus was truly surprised at how fantastic what he was experiencing felt. Which is why he allowed it to continue. Instead of bashing Mystere in the head with his fist and then beating him to death, which is what he imagined he'd do if a gay guy ever tried to rape him.

When it was over, Minus considered what had happened. "I'm not gay either" he said. "If you're not gay and I'm not gay... then obviously what just transpired was not a homosexual encounter". "Absolutely not" Mystere concurred. "WOW! You are really good at that" Minus said eventually. "Now, I think I'm going to call an Uber and get the hell out of here".

Post authored by the anti-Trump Leftist Bastard Dervish Sanders. WYM-114. TF-14.